A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am 55 years old, and have all the symptoms of serious emotional imaturity, and am not able to cope with major adult problems like decision making and ending unhappy relationships. I have spent hundreds of pounds on counselling which has not helped. I feel paralysed, and unable take control. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, I've been there  +, writes (23 February 2007):
Well, my answer is simple. You have no problem, it may seem stupid and it probably is but in my opinion there is nothing wrong with being unable to make hard decisions, it is something that we all have to do but not many people do well. So my advice is simple dont worry about it and think of it as a 'problem' just find something that makes you happy!
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (23 February 2007):
 Has there been anything that's happened in your past to make you feel this way? Do you often feel insecure and that you find responsibilities hard to cope with? The main thing is you realise you're like this so that's the first step on your road to recovery.
Ask friends what they think about your behaviour, tell them to be honest with you and don't be offended when they answer you honestly. Watch other people and see how THEY deal with situations. See which people bring out the best in you and stick to those friends. Try and practise being unselfish and notice how people around you act when you do this. Compare this to how they react when you act selfishly then think... what do I prefer?
Try and help people more, put yourself out for others, this will give you a deep self satisfaction and help you mature quicker. Keep a journal and write down one decision that you're going to make and try and stick by it. The following week write how it went and if you kept to that decision. Do the same again and write down another decision you've made, stick by it and again write down how it went. Gradually you'll find making decisions easier. When something happens in your life try and deal with it immediately, that gets it out of the way and leaves you free to think about other things. Simple things like answering emails, letters, paying bills. Again, write down the things you have to do and tick them off as you do them.
Here is a website I'm sure you will find helpful.
http://www.soulwork.net/sw_articles_eng/emotional_maturity_2.htm
Take it one small step at a time, whether it is dealing with every day decision making or relationships. Keep focussed on the problem that comes up, analyse it in your head and write down how you think would be the best way to deal with it then do it! Tick it off as dealt with. The more you do this the better you'll become at dealing with decisions in your life and eventually you'll just do it as a matter of course, without having to write it down.
Eve
...............................
|
