A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi-I LOVE my fiance so very much. We both have full time jobs and two dogs that take up a lot of our time ). I have no self esteem issues what so ever, I a very confident person. Our relationship is very lovey and we truly are in love- never argue over the sex thing, it is more of me feeling guilty for him because he deserves it more. In the very beginning of our relationship, we were very sexually active, at least two times a week- foreplay, everything. It has been 4 years now and my sex drive deminished about 2 years ago, now once every two or three weeks . It has nothing to do with him or our relationship- I just don't feel the want to have sex. I feel like I could easily do without it. We don't makeout and get all hot and steamy or anything- when we are going to have sex, it is more of like I am doing it just for him rather than for us and myself to enjoy. We are SO close that sometimes I almost feel awkward getting so sexually crazy with him without thinking about how goofy of a couple we really are. We barely have sex. It's my fault. He takes it really well but I know he wants more (clearly). I get too uptight about letting myself go with it because in the back of my head I am talking to myself and trying to convice myself I am in the mood. I also get a little uncomfortable when he wants foreplay because I am just not feeling that foreplay stuff anymore.HELP. PLEASE. Tried to tell myself to let go of the thoughts running through my head and to be thankful I have someone that loves me no matter what. I just feel so bad..
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fiance, foreplay, in the mood, self esteem, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Problem.helper  +, writes (13 May 2013):
 There are people who you can talk to about your low sex drive: Doctors, Psychologists, Gynaecologist (I am sure you wouldn't be the first lady with this problem) and your fiance( he might have some insight).
People on this website are not experts on this sort of thing (I presume).
I looked over some websites really quick and there are few things that can help you boost your libido, but the best advice I can give you is to ask a professional for help. Also, please resolve this issue before marrying your fiance as this may create a big problem later in your marriage.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2013): You have to decide if you want to stay with this man who cannot give you the full package in the bedroom. This is a harsh reality check for you. If my boyfriend couldn't perform and be intimate and make me feel like a women should, we wouldn't be together. We have been dating for over three years next month but both had to work on the intimacy and giving me full sexual satisfaction. I love oral sex and the tongue action all over me. I climax a lot easier than before because I helped the situation out. My boyfriend was a quick learner and till this day get surprised by the different things he does to me. I couldn't do with out the intimacy. I believe your sex drive is low because your boyfriend didn't take the time to help make you feel really good about yourself and potentially explore oral sex to its fullest potential. My advice to you is a bitter pill. Try to change the flavour in the bedroom and if he cant come up to the pump and give you what you need say good-bye. Four years is to long to go with out satisfaction. Move on, now. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 May 2013):
 I have a theory about sex and sexuality... may I present it in this manner?:
1. You make time to walk/run your dogs, every day... don't you?????
2. You go to work and do your jobs, every day.... don't you????
Then.... why not consider that sex is one of those aspects of life that you and he NOT ONLY consider to be one of life's "aspects"???? .... BUT, it's one of those "aspects" that is enjoyable... AND lots of fun.... so.... why not make time for IT, EVERY DAY?????
Sometimes, I think couples get in to a rut wherein they think that sex is an "option" in life... to be enjoyed if and when there is nothing else to do....
IN FACT, sex/copulation/foreplay/afterplay are some of THE MOST enjoyable things that two consenting adults can do!!! SO, why not make sure that THAT is "in your calendar".... and let OTHER details fall in to place AROUND your sexual goings-on?????
Think about that... see if it makes sense to you and fiance.... and make (an) adjustment(s) as you must to get SEX to be part of your "relationship".... again!!! It will bring you (two) closer together... and make life a lot more fun... I GUARANTEE IT!!!!!!
Good luck......
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (11 May 2013):
As you stated-you love your fiance and you have been together for 4 years,But the question is are you still IN-LOVE WITH YOUR FIANCE.That is the question you will have to ask yourself as you know there is a huge difference.Sometimes the Magic goes its no ones fault but it changes the relationship.However if you are still in-love with your fiance then it might be worth going to a doctor and getting a check-up and perhaps a tonic as you have a busy life-style Kind Wishes Nora B.
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