A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a cousin. Well he isn't my blood cousin. His mom is married to my cousin. So I didn't know what to consider him. I just say he is cuz I've known him since we were kids. Until a few months ago tho we have become really close. We talk a lot and we kinda flirt. I don't know what to do cuz our parents would never accept us. He is also 1 year and half younger than me. I'm 19 and he is 17. About to be 18. I think I'm starting to really like him and I don't know if I should ask him how he feels or just forget him. What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): OK, so he will soon be 18 and available for romantic intimacy.. That is good..
His mother is married to your cousin, but he has a different father who is not related to you biologically, this is also good.
You have no blood links, you are not biological related. He is soon legal to have sexual relations.. All this is good..
He is still part of your family, you will have to be around him until the day you die. But your situation is now possible, and I can advise you as if you and he was born in Britain, where there is no problems with two cousins who have falling in love, and may wish to get married one day.
Your cousin and you like each other, you both want to get romantic and soon he will be legal. When he is legal, you and him can enter into a romantic relationship, but you both must be very respectful, and you must be in love. Your family will be very worried, because being romantic with a family relation is always difficult. What if you split up, what if you argue, remember you will continue to see each other for the rest of your lives. The recommendation is always to talk to your parents and see what they say. If they have no strong objections then they will help and provide you with the support you need. You can date or be romantic with a family member as long as you are both in love and the relationship is serious. It is very dangerous to have romantic, sexual feelings for family members when it is not serious, because then you, he, both sets of your parents and all family members will get involved. Remember, he is your younger cousin and will be with you for life. So if this is just a sexual thing, or attraction or flattery, the suggestion is to move on, because there is too much too risk. Involving yourself with a family member, involves all your family too, and in the end, they will probably hurt more than you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): I posted the question. I just need to clarify. His mom had him with another man. Then she married my cousin (his stepdad). He was like 8 when his mom married my cousin. So we are not blood related at all. And i kno he is younger so i dnt over do the flirt. And hes gunna turn 18 this month.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): Unfortunately you don't live in Britain. In Britain it is legal to marry your cousin and fall in love with them. The situation in America is different. From what I understand, different states have different laws. I am not familiar with your country, but I suggest you find an advice line and see if it is legal where you live. If it is illegal to marry your cousin, then you must give up your love, and suffer the pain and move on. For you, he is forbidden and you will just have to accept that you love him, but there is no way, (unless you move) for you and him to be together.... Your cousin is also too young. As far as I know he has to be 18 before he can be romantic with you. You are older and therefore wiser. Stop the flirting and start treating him as a brother, you must be the strong one, because you are the young adult and he is just a kid...
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A
male
reader, enjoimx +, writes (28 October 2008):
 Family is off limits as far as romantic relationships go! I would just move on and find another fish in the sea!I think you would regret it if you pursued this
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