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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ugh. I can't believe how vile I am. To cut to the chase, there is a guy I like in the year above me at sixth form, he's in his last year and we've been friends for about five years now. Last year we were mixed doubles partners in badminton and over time we've become very good friends and since we're sharing a common room now at school, we've been seeing a lot more of each other and talking more. There used to be a girl in my class (she's gone now, the less said about her the better) and she was such an attention seeking kind of girl etc. who would be vying for his (and others) attention simply because that's her purpose in life and now she's gone, he and I have been able to have a lot more in-depth coversations and we've been able to chat without fear of getting interrupted by the Whirlwind of Drama's bawling over her fifth boyfriend of the month.I'd just thought I'd throw in a midpost apology as I'm feeling really self absorbed right now, and feel really selfish about it, feel free to virtual kick me.By now you can probably tell that I have a rather large crush on him and I'm so terrible at this kind of thing! From what I can tell (bear in mind I have practically zero experience in this kind of thing - 1 boyfriend in my life and proud of it) he likes me back; he and the other boys on the team were talking about who the best looking girls on the team were *rolls eyes* and I was evesdropping (more of this :p) and he said I was very, very attractive and when we're keeping an eye on the younger badminton players at after school club he's always sort of reluctant to stop our conversation to go and play a game. And I could be reading this completely and utterly the wrong way, but when we're talking he stands fairly close and looks quite intently into the centre of my face. Also, I was evesdropping (like you do.. on the organisers at our county badminton and they were saying something about how he's always quite open and chatty with me when he's usually quite choosy and careful about who he talks to, we're always comfortable in each other's presence and, I just . . . gah.Now the reason I'm feeling like such a complete and utter piece of work is that he has a girlfriend (two years younger than him) and I feel dreadful for liking him!! We were talking today and he said he was really pi**ed that his girlfriend ditched their cinema trip to see Black Swan to have coffee with her friends in town.I've really no clue what to do, I feel really bad for flirting but it's not really a conscious effort :SI'm sorry, I just really needed to vent since this has been eating at me all day and I feel really annoyed that his girlfriend is kinda chubby and my stupid twisted mind thinks she looks awful and my self confidence has really plummeted and GAAAAH. (I've had an ED for two years)Sorry for the long post, but I can't turn anywhere else for advice like this, my friends are endearingly gossipy and I like to keep my private life, private.Thank you
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (22 January 2011):
 Sounds like he likes you, he could be a bit wary as well, y ou being a bit more confident than him may scare him. I think you would have to make the first move and tell him how you feel in this case. If he mentions his gf again and what she has done to him, just drop a hint, 'i wouldnt treat y ou like that if y ou were mine' kind of thing. Other people have noticed how well you two are getting along. i don't usually advise people to go for it when someone is already seeing someone but when i look at the age group it's rather normal for people to move in and out of relationships until they feel comfortable with the person they choose.
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