A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I'm very upset and feel bad. Today is my bf bday and we had some nice plans tonight. He's getting divored (final in January) but still lives with his wife. We have beendating only a few months and its been a huge concern of mine that they live together, moreso that neither plan to leave until the house sells which could be a long time given the market. Today I was happy, said Happy Bday and he immediately brought up his pending divorce which seems to be the topic of convestation lately. I immediately went on the defensive and seemed to ruin the day now. I just said i'm still concerned that they have no plans to leave and he kinda copped a tude and said "theres nothing I can do". I said well you both have friends and family, one of you can move. And he just said drop it. I was upset as I feel this wont' be resolved. Not to mention she bought him a gift and he was late to work so my iminagtion is running wild.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): kind of looks like they are wanting to work things out and you may be the one in the way.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 September 2008):
This sounds pretty fishy to me. Have you seen any proof that he has filed for divorce, any paperwork? Most couples physically separate when they are truly divorcing, even if it stretchs the budget. Are you absolutely sure he isn't feeding you a line?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2008): It might be wise to not get too emotionally invested in this relationship until the divorce is finalized. This situation is a little odd to say the least. It's hard to say if anything improper is going on. Maybe it's an amicable divorce and the current living situation is strictly financial. Then again, maybe this guy isn't ready yet to leave his wife. It's always wise not to get involved until the divorce is final. Since you already have, I would suggest you stop making an issue of it (after all you put yourself in the middle of this situation)and keep your eyes open. Time will tell if he's a man of his word.
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A
male
reader, Anonymouscounseler +, writes (19 September 2008):
Be very careful about how much you give to this man as if he really wanted you he would have shown some real commitment. You might find you become a convenience toy.
Cheers
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