A
female
age
26-29,
*upcakessmiles
writes:I have a problem I like my history teacher. I know it is wrong, but it's getting worse. everytime i see him my heart beats faster and feels like it is going to explode, just like when i think about him. he is married and has two kids,and there is a 17 year difference between us. I just don't want to ruin his relationship with his family, or get him fired. I always make excuses to be with him or to talk with him, i have tried to forget about him but it is still difficult, since i see him almost everyday. should i tell him i love him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): Well done. Your being really mature and doing the right thing.
A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (18 December 2010):
She (the poster) shouldn't be harassed here, whatever he does or don’t do is made by him, his decision and his alone. She just has a crush and its him whom putting his future on the line not her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): If something did happen he would lose his job. Remember that.
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female
reader, cupcakessmiles +, writes (17 December 2010):
cupcakessmiles is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey you guys thanks i have been thinking about it and i see its just a crush but it kinda made me upset. i guess i have to go on with my life and except other boys. now i just see him as a friend. now that i think about it i can see what u mean and he is happy with his wife and family. but if something happens i'll tell u guys but since i aked for help i can control my feelings for him. but if something happens i'll report back here if something happens since this seems to help. thanks for the help.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (14 December 2010):
 Nope, she's not listening.
Sweetie? Scroll to the bottom of your page where I posted a link. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you missed my post. Click on it, read VERY, VERY carefully and slowly. Then advert your eyes over to the part where people have posted comments, read those as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): Oh dear you really aren't listening are you? It's not going to happen. Ever. I don't mean to be harsh but if you looked on this site and saw how many posts we get like this on a daily basis you would see how common it is and most people will tell you the same.
Having a crush is fine but you need to realise he doesn't feel the same and if he did try anything with you he would be classed as a child abuser and lose his job.
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female
reader, cupcakessmiles +, writes (14 December 2010):
cupcakessmiles is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontoday we got new seats in his class and what i noticed is that he always looks at me when he teaches or is doing something else. when im in the hall he only sys hi to me and if he is standing there and i go by him he always looks at me when i go by.
we are having a can food drive at our school and some girls came by and told me while i was in history that someday they are going to take them and boost their numbers. (just for a joke) my teacher came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders and said "i'll help her fight for them if you do". it sounds like he likes me??????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Thats Same EXACT Problem With me theirs a 17 year difference im between 13-15 and i love my hot history teacher hes married and has two Kids. Its so creepy. I love him and when i see him i day dream about him and/or want to kiss him right there. I always tried my heart out to get over him but my love keeps coming out stronger. I want to have sex with him but i cant.:'(So i did some research and found that people had this problem and told their teacher and their teacher said " I want nothing to do with you get away for me!!!" then the teacher was never the same and the student that told the teacher Hated the teacher and things turned out bad at the end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Hey, I decided to add an answer to your post because this time last year I myself was going through the exact same thing.
My teacher was amazing; everything I wanted in a guy. He was so funny, smart, absolutely gorgeous and had an amazing accent (I'm a sucker for hot accents;) ). My feelings for him grew and grew until it got to the stage that his classes were pure torture for me. Being in the room with him for a full 40 mins consisted of my heart going ninety and me nearly swooning whenever he talked to me or mentioned my name, it got to the stage where I couldn't be around him, but I couldn't not be around him too.
I of course convinced myself that he MUST feel something, even something small for me too. Things that he said or did, I twisted it into secret signs that he liked me too. Its really embarasing to admit, but I started planning our future; how he would propose, where we would live, how many kids we'd have.
Thankfully, through all this I never admitted my feelings to him. I knew he had a girlfriend and the thought of him with someone else killed me. He mentioned her once in class and I thought I was about to cry - really! I lived in constant fear of him getting married to her.
Anyway, I know I rambled a bit but the point I'm trying to make is that you should definitly NOT tell your teacher your feelings for him. You will get over him, I promise. I know you're prob thinking that the way you feel for him is real and that it's different between you two, well I was nuts about my teacher, I thought I couldn't live without him, how could I ever be interested in any other guy after meeting this symbol of perfection? I dreaded the day that I'd leave school and go to college.
Its been less than a year since I've seen him and although I still think that he was an amazing man and that some of the feelings I had for him were real, looking back I can see that it would never have worked out for us and that any attention he paid me was just him being a good teacher. He also teaches my little sister and she told me last week that he got engaged to his girlfriend, she told me all the details and I didn't even feel a little bit upset, I genuinly had no problem with it. So if I could get over my obsession with my teacher, you can get over yours.
I am so, so happy that I never confessed my feelings to him. Thats why I'm begging you to just hold out until you finish school, because you will feel differently, I guarantee it. Telling him that you love him will just cause you both so much embarassement, especially since he cannot return your love. I'm sorry and I understand completely how you feel, but just ride it out, thats all you can do.
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, soon567 +, writes (11 December 2010):
You got it bad (:, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of a lot of us go through it. It helps to me and a friend of mine. He married his teacher and when it hit the light all hell broke out. The shame, the families involved her life and husband. It was a mess for all. He once has a close family and when I left and join the military they weren’t talking. It could helping to you too.
Moon river is correct we will judge you on morality and therefore criticize you according to our beliefs and values as they were taught to us. Laws however are written according to norms or what we perceive to be normal to us. If you could have this guy as a couple you two will be ridicule for years to come. That would leave a tremendous strain on any relationship.
One of the hard things you would have is to get a man to walk away from his wife. As a male we tend to build around her like a queen bee. Removed the wife and everything falls apart. Even if he doesn’t love her you will have a hard time trying to get him to leave, because a male builds loyalty to her. He’ll feel obligated to stay right where he’s at, even if it’s not working. You would be like so many other females waiting years to be with a married man. So many wasted years that you can be enjoying yourself with someone that really cared for you.
“i have tried to forget about him but it is still difficult” This happen every minute, we choose someone that cant or think we’re not made for each other. So many find a way to move on and that’s what you need to do. This year is winding down like your crush should be.
“should i tell him i love him.” It’s hard to love someone that you don’t know, but I do believe you love whom you think he is. I can see you have built him up in your mind and your heart is feeding off of it. We all do it sometime we build them up so big that’s it’s impossible for that person to live up to what we think we see in them. I wouldn’t tell him simple because he’s a male. Find someone you can get to know and love that person this guy isn’t the one. Now go tell your mother how you feel and she’ll know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): i have the same exact problem! except, i like my science teacher, who is married but cannot have kids. DO NOT tell him how you feel! you could risk so much more than your embaressment. i know how you feel, im 13 and in the same situation. but don't tell him or anyone . i figure it will pass for both of us, we just have to wait it out
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Read the article that tenisstar posted. It's very informative and will shed some light on your situation. We get 100s of posts like yours daily.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): okay. a year ago i was in this situation.
i will tell you what i know now i'm older.
sorry some of these are harsh.
1) if he has kids they could be about your age which means that he will not see you in a sexual way, he will see you in a paternal manner if you see him and are a nice girl
2) its normal to be attracted to a teacher but it is not normal for him to be attracted you you. i see from your age group that you are under the age of consent. laws founded on moral standards are there to protect the people, you will see this when your older
3) DO NOT tell your teacher, it will be extremely embarrassing especially for him when he has to turn you down and sort out for you to be moved class
4) you may be mature for your age, but that does not make you mature
i am not trying to be harsh or provoke you to do the opposite of what i say out of spite, you have to understand i am really trying to help you here. the reason i'm on this website is because i needed help with this exact problem! i wish someone could have told me this 3 years ago! i never told any of my teacher, but looking back the idea that i nearly did make me want to die of embarrassment, i would not be able to set foot in that school even now.
please listen, you just have to live this out. it's not pleasant but im afraid you have no choice
please keep us updated
xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (11 December 2010):
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/crushes-on-teachers.html
Read that article.
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