A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I am 15 and I have a plan for my life up to a certain point, the main point to my life I have figured out myself and that is 'to become completely self dependent, have a good education, a well paid job and make myself happy from earning good money and buying nice things . . .' I know the first step is my education so although I may seem shy and not very confident, and well perhaps a little weird because I don't go out at the weekends and get drunk or have a boyfriend who I am 'doing certain things with' but to be honest I don't want to, I don't feel ready and well I don't want to, I don't even think it is legal anyway at 15. So I am working on getting my GCSE's and then college and perhaps then I will get a new group of friends and go out in the evenings more - but I doubt I will be doing anything with any boy by then either, I think the things most of the girls my age are doing with their boyfriends are things which should only be done with someone special and not after a week. Then university and around that time, at the age of 19 is when I was planning to have a relationship if I want one.So does this guideline plan I am following sound alright, it is to make sure I keep focused and don't make an silly mistakes I will regret when I am older. Is there anything I should change? Please can you give me some advice or reassurance. Thank you very much for reading.
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (12 June 2011):
That all sounds very good and you sound like a sensible teenager, which is nice to see on this site for once!
Concentrating on your education is definitely a good thing, you only have one chance at getting a good education and setting yourself up for the future, and it would be a massive regret if you spent all your time partying and not getting good grades. Your GCSE's are important but not as important as A Levels, unless you are planning on going to Oxford or Cambridge (you need all A's and A*'s at GCSE to get to those Uni's) then as long as you get reasonable grades (C and above) at GCSE you will be fine. Your A Levels are where you really need to focus, so maybe think about easing off a little at the moment and make sure you do have a little bit of fun as well as working hard.
The only 1 thing I can see here that you might have got a bit wrong is the focus on money and buying nice things. You could have all the money in the world, buy everything you want but might not have any friends and you would be incredibly lonely and unhappy. Money does not buy you happiness, it helps to have a comfortable life but you need a lot more to make you happy. So dont be so pre-occupied with being rich and buying nice things, concentrate instead on finding a career that is fulfilling and satisfying.
For example, you could perhaps do a business degree and get a high flying job in a large firm earning loads of money, shopping whenever you want. But that might not make particularly happy and you wil feel unfulfilled. Whereas you could study nursing at uni and become a nurse, not earning huge amounts of money but the work you do is so satisfying that you are loads happier than you would be earning a fortune.
So you have to figure out what makes you happy, not what makes you money, but what you will enjoy doing and what you care about in life.
But I do like your attitude about being self-dependent, it is so important for girls and young women to get a good career so they can support themselves without needing to rely upon a man, too many girls aim to marry a rich man yet they end up divorced with nothing and have no future. So being self-dependent, with your own money and a good job with future prospects is a great plan for your future.
Keep up the good work, you sound like you have your head screwed on and will do well. But remember, you are only a teenager once and these can be some of the best years of your life. So make some time for a fun every now and then, letting your hair down once in a while and enjoying being young is just as important as working hard and getting good grades.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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