A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok i am now 19 and have been going out with my boyfriend for four and a half years. He is the only guy i have seriously been with and well, the only guy ive been with (vice versa). I have a tight knit group of friends and we have all been hanging out for nearly 8 years, so we all know each other pretty well and have each others backs. My boyfriend and i are from that group and our relationship turned from best friend to boyfriend when i was 14.I love him a lot and we get on so well together, however, i have started to like another guy. I flirt with him and have to admit i fantasise sometimes, yet i cannot bring myself to do a thing about it. He has confessed his attraction to me both sober and drunk, also having a girlfriend (however she lives abroad and they meet twice a year). I have been told that im missing out as people say, yet i also know i am lucky to have such a great guy. We've literally stuck together through thick and thin. Yet im questioning our relationship...However i would never go out with a guy that is in a relationship already and i couldnt cheat...What should i do?
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 Missing out on what? If you're happy, then you're not really missing out on anything. It's not worth sabotaging a happy relationship because your friend says there's better stuff out there.
As for this other guy, same deal. It's not worth sabotaging a good relationship for someone who you know cheats on his girlfriend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2011): Thanks for all of your comments. I guess im longing for excitment and am relieved that fantasising doesnt make me a bad person. Thinking about it, all relationships dont stay how they are when you first meet and seeking that thrill will just end up with nothing long term.
I 've realised that life without my boyfriend would be a mistake not worth making...Its weird as i never thought places like this could make you feel better, but they do :) xx
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (9 March 2011):
 Fantasizing and imagining life with another person occasionally is normal. It happens, we're only human.
However, you're not missing out by being in the dating scene. It mostly consists of getting your feelings hurt while trying to find exactly what you already have. Even if you avoid dating seriously, just to hook up, most girls tend to experience that as a thrill - right up until the guy gets up and leaves, and she feels rotten afterwards.
Stick with the guy you have. He sounds great, and you'd be throwing away a real gem by leaving him - one you would spend the next several years at minimum seeking to find again.
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A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (9 March 2011):
As aunt honesty said, you are not missing out on anything. What you have with your boyfriend is better than what you can have with any other guy. I hope you stay in your relationship and ignore what your friends say (maybe they are just jealous seeing you so happy with a man!). Good luck
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 March 2011):
 Well if am honest I really dont understand why people say you are missing out. At the end of the day you still hang out with your friend and you still do everything that they do the only thing you are missing out on is dating a few guys. But I really dont see why that is missing out at the end of the day we date guys to find ourselfs a partner but you have already got yourself one therefore I dont see that as missing out.
As for your feelings for this other guy. It is ok to fantasize about other people while you are in a relationship, but as you said you would never cheat on your boyfriend therefore dont feel guilty. As long as you look and dont touch you are doing nothing wrong. It is healthy to develop crushes on people. But as long as you can leave it at that then its fine.
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