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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I am extremely confused with my relationships at the moment.My boyfriend of two years split up with me two months ago and then a month ago, after becoming close with another boy we got together.My problem is I keep thinking of my ex and I'm not certain whether it is just because I have a lot of unanswered questions or if I am still in love with him.I love my new boyfriend and we are practically the same person in different forms. We get on so well and I would do anything for him but there is still this niggling in the back of my mind.I'm only really thinking of my ex when me and my new boyfriend are apart for a long time and when I see or speak to mutual friends I had with my ex.I am glad to be out of the relationship I had with my ex because I wasn't treated brilliantly ... there were problems with communication, he wasn't affectionate, he mentally bullied me in a way and he was an alcoholic which I found hard to deal with. So why do I keep thinking about him and being bothered by things such as the fact he split up with me is because he wanted to see other people ... mainly a girl I had previously been jealous of, when I was in the relationship?Am I truly over him?
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (26 December 2010):
 i am sure you are over him in that you dont want to get back with him, but you are not over the hurt he has caused you. that is the difference. you dont seem to have fallen for this new boyfriend, maybe you dont want to be too vulnerable to hurt again is the reason or maybe you are just enjoying a bit of time to be adored by someone who you get on so well with. you do not have to rush into being in love with him, maybe you never will. as long as you treat this new man nice and dont promise him anything that you may not be able to give , then i do not think you are doing anything wrong at all. you have not been away from your ex long really, time is a great healer and day by day you will think less of the things he has done and the questions about him that you feel you need an answer to now will become less and less important, trust me.
xx
A
male
reader, faenon  +, writes (25 December 2010):
 By sounds of things no your not over him yet when he doesn't deserve that kind of emotions from you from what you described about him. Makes it a little worse three months later you found someone else not that that's wrong but sometimes especially when a person has been in a abusive relationship or even a mutual break up you need to give yourself time to heal mentally so you know truly you are over the individual so when the right one does come you can give your all to them 100% it isn't fair on the new guy to be 50/50 because of past feelings sometimes a little time to heal old wounds needs to be taken.Im not saying break it off with the new fellow but you need to mentally and emotionally work out what you want otherwise its going to end up hurting both of you if only half of yourself is into the new relationship while the other half is still hung up on a abusive man.
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A
female
reader, Miss Taterbutt  +, writes (25 December 2010):
 Because you haven't really given any time to get over your ex-boyfriend. Two months is really soon to jump into a new relationship, when realistically, you still aren't over your last boyfriend. I'm not really sure how you love your new guy after a month, but that's your business. I'm just hoping this new guy isn't a rebound to fill that void of having someone to call your own once again since your ex left.Good luck with everything and Merry Christmas!
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