A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy for seven months now and although we live 70 odd miles apart we see each other very frequently. He is 14 years my senior. He is a decent guy, we go out, he helps me with things, he cooks for me (if he's not taking me out). But he seems to have an issue with non-sexual intimacy. For example, I love cuddling in the morning and he's into his morning routine of protein shakes and supplements. Today I asked him for a cuddle before we went to work and he did everything under the sun he had to do first. Then he comes in and rubs my boob and takes down my sweatpants signalling he wants sex. He mounts me for 7 minutes, comes, and then goes back to his morning routine. That isn't intimacy! And just last nite I told him I felt he's only intimate when he wants sex and look what he does the very next morning! When I complain he just laughs and calls me crazy! How can I get through to him? I feel like punishing him by refusing sex, but he doesn't take very well to that sort of thing. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MrsTetzlaff +, writes (26 December 2010):
Get rid of the bastard. I guarantee he's gay.
:-) Sorry sweetheart.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): Oh wow yea this is a bad sign. Id like to consider myself a pretty sexual guy but having been raised by a single mom, im a little tender and do like the cuddle time and soft kissing without sex. The gentle touches and sensations are always wonderful and I do enjoy them. I almost get the sense this guy is using you and isnt genuinely wanting to be involved as he seems selfish and honestly perhaps a bit immature in his approach to resolving a dispute. He shouldnt laugh things off but really sit down and talk to you. You need to tell him what exactly you want with intimacy and if he's not in the same view, perhaps you should re evaluate the relationship. good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (25 December 2010):
 Wait... so he WILL NOT cuddle you or be tender unless he's going for sex, and he "doesn't take very well" to going without sex? You're not exactly making him sound terribly good.
He helps you out, cooks for you, takes you out, etc. Is he romantic in other ways? Is he a caring guy that listens to you, is supportive of you, communicates effectively with you, and makes you feel loved? If so, then this whole lack of physical tenderness might just be who he is and you can take him or leave him. If he's not loving in other ways, then you should just leave him.
There are men that hate cuddles (crazy, I know) and there are men that love them.
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