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male
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anonymous
writes: I am 24 and about 5 months ago split up with my girlfriend of about 18 months - she is 29 and has her own house and a 7yr old girl. I still love my ex and she still loves me and wants me back. The problem is my new girlfriend who is 22 is 3 1/2 months pregnant with my child, she fell pregnant almost straight away after we met. She wants to be with me and I am definitely going to support the child no matter what. I don't love her yet but I do find her more attractive than my ex, she lives a 45mins journey away from me though which means we only see each other 2 times a week. My ex knows all about her and everything but still wants me back - we have still been sleeping together as well. Do I go back to the woman I love where life would be easier, or do I stay with my new girl and try to make things work?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2006): I'm not sure if you understand something. You are going to be a father, you now have a responsibilty for years to come. Your current gf will give birth to one of the most important people in your life...your child. So..now you must now comprehend that you have commitments and responsibilities there which supersede any love feelings for your ex gf. Your committment now lies with the Mother of your child. This takes priority over anything else, in your life, This is no longer just about 'you and your feelings'. You have a baby on the way and you have a big job ahead of you and now you must start making adult, mature choices to decide your child's future, your future, and your relationship with your child's Mother. You need to tell your ex gf, goodbye and wish her a happy life. And after that, work hard on loving the Mother of your child. That will be the best gift you can give your child. It ensures his/her happiness. Take care
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Put it this way, would you want your son to think it's okay to get his girlfriend pregnant, disrespect by sleeping with his ex all because he still loves her? Or would you want your daughter to have some creep do it to her? I hope it's no for both. She doesn't deserve that and neither does the baby. Achild deserves both parents unconditionally on a full time basis. This is how they learn who they are and what they will become in life. Besides both of you should have enough respect for her and yourselves. I don't have to explain what it makes you look like. Obvious reasons tell me why you two broke up in the first place. You two neem to back off and you should sit your GF down and explain to her what your feelings really are but, be careful of your choice of words because like it or not there is apart of yougrowing inside her. What the mom feels so does the unborn baby.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Atleast pay for her abortion you bum!
How could you get a girl pregnant and then be thinking of supporting the child but not her? If you haven't noticed, she's only 22. This kid thing is gonna really screw up her future. All you have to do is pay some cheap maintenance fee but she's the one who has to bring up the child. Who the heck wants to be a single mother and especially before they've even had a chance to enjoy life properly.
Just get her the abortion then take a long hike off a short pier or something. And do it before its too late!
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A
female
reader, chunky_monkey +, writes (27 June 2006):
You are not being fair to either of these girls. I think you should figure out why your first relationship ended and then decided why it isn't worth going back to. Be there for your pregnant girlfriend, get her to move or you move to her. STOP RUNNING FROM YOUR PROBLEMS. AND STOP THE AFFAIR WITH YOUR EX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Let her know in advance about the way you are feeling. wat if the shoe was on the other foot? before she gets attached let her know how you feel. weigh the the pros and cons... looks arent everything and if it did not work out with your ex before what makes you think that it will work now? if your ex did not have the house and a good job would you really want her back?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Please don't stay with the mother just because she's pregnant with your child. If you support the baby after it is born (emotionally, financially, etc), that is enough. It wouldn't be right for anyone if you stayed in a relationship with no feeling - you would be unhappy and your gf would unhappy (and livid) when she found out you didn't care for her. Take a step back and think about where you see both relationships possibly going. Think about why you and your ex broke up and how you feel with each of the women. But you should also not sleep with either of them or lead them on if you're unsure.
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A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (27 June 2006):
 You should stay in your current relationship, AND stop sleeping with your ex. Maybe not what you want to hear, but you are as responsible for creating this baby as your g/f is and it has a right to a father. It didnt ask for life. You and your ex split for a reason, and I'm guessing it's not resolved. You owe it to your new g/f and baby to try and make it work with her and let your ex go.
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