| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hey all, just hoping for some advice. I've been meeting a guy for about 6 weeks. At first, we met up and I didn't feel it but we agreed to be friends. However, I knew he kind of would have liked more, but he said he was happy as friends was better than nothing. One night, he helped me out with something and afterwards he kissed me. It felt a bit weird but not totally gross. I explained that although I like him and enjoy his company, I wasn't sure I saw him that way and didn't wanna hurt him. He asked me to 'try', give things a go and see what happens, so for the last month that's what we've been doing. He is really sweet, kind and attentive, and the sex is really stimulating (which surprised me). I just still don't feel 'it' (not sure what 'it' is). He's getting really into us, already planning ahead and talking parents and holidays. Its really freaking me out because he assured me that if things didn't work, he'd be happy to be friends, but I don't think it will be that simple. He seems so 'into' it and I keep waiting for the sparks. I'm confused as I enjoy seeing him, the sex is good and he is caring. I'm just worried it's me! Even the amount he texts bugs me as I feel like its too intense. I have told him all this and he's even understanding about it too, but something just isn't right. Should I leave it there or am I throwing in the towel too soon? I just don't wanna hurt him.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 December 2013):
 NOPE you would know what IT was if you felt it.
his amount of contact bugs you for a reason.. it's not a good fit...
6 weeks of plentiful contact is enough time to know.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (31 December 2013):
 The longer you leave it the more intense will his feelings become and the harder it will be for you to leave without feeling guilty for hurting him.
You know deep in your guts that he is not accepting this as 'just friends,' he is trying to push you towards a future you have said you don't want.
You have already spoken with him about being too intense and too many texts, and while he SAYS he understands his behaviour is not changing.
You could try talking with him again, point out despite him saying he understands his behaviour is still pushing you away. If another talk has no effect then end it quickly, like pulling off a band aid, and cut contact because he is not going to be happy with being friends, he wants more and could get nasty when he doesn't get what he wants.
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