A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok I don't know where to begin here but I have a massive crush on my landlord. Like I'm not saying I want to run of to the sunset and marry him lol, but I have fantasised sleeping with him! He's older than well by 20 years but looks like fecking action man, well he works out anyways lol, I have flirted with him and notice him check me out, so I do know this could happen, but cons, he's my landlord and could easily make me homeless if we were to fall out for what ever reason, I have noticed the wedding band so I assume he's married, and he's 20 years older than me, but I keep thinking that how amazing one night would be with him! I do love it when he checks me out and buzz on the attention but to turn it into reality well I have listed the cons, I don't know would it be worth it for one night?
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crush, flirt, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 March 2014):
 You listed the CONS as you see them. I have more. I won’t address your lack of maturity or morals. Let’s stick with the facts:
1. He’s your landlord. This is a quasi-authoritive position. He has some control over your living situation. IF you are renting in a private setting (he owns the building/apartment you rent) he has even more power as does his legal partner (wife or spouse ) This means that if you have more than a professional relationship with him (i.e. you scratch that horny itch of yours) he has more power over you to make your life a living hell. I’m not even going to address his wife’s ability legally as well to make you miserable.
2. You are thinking with the wrong end my dear. ONS are never satisfying nor will they quench that desire. They just fuel the fire and the feelings. ONS and FWB only work when you DON’T CARE. And clearly you CARE. NOT good. He already has the upper hand.
3. You make a lot of assumptions here. You assume he’s married because he wears a wedding band. Have you met his wife? Maybe he’s gay and his “wife” is a husband? (just saying) maybe he’s NOT married but he wears a wedding band because he knows young girls will feel safe to flirt with him and he is an attention whore? You assume that just because you flirt with him and he checks you out that you have the option to have sex with him. That’s pretty ARROGANT of you don’t you think? I mean I flirt with people all the time and yes I’ve been known to check out a guy or gal here or there but it does not mean in any shape or form they have a chance to have sex with me. I’m married but not dead so I look, but I am hopelessly devoted to my spouse and would NEVER jeopardize my marriage or my morals by lying or cheating. For all you know, he goes home and says to his wife “our young tenant has the hots for me” and they have a laugh at your expense and then have wild sex because of your hot fantasy.
4. You assume ONE night with him would be amazing but for all you know he’s a lousy lover… just because he looks hot does not mean he’s good in bed. I almost wish you would do it and find out that he’s a lousy lover so you could learn that FANTASY is way HOTTER than REALITY.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2014): Girls like you do my head in! Yeah your pretty and prob have a hot body any man would love to bang, but does that give you the right to destroy a family! One night to you is a life time of love and trust broken in his wifes eyes! And does he have kids? I assume his kids are your age or around about it, I would hate to see how his daughters handle u if you break their mothers heart and remember the flat belongs to his whole family not just him! So yeh screw him, destroy his family and end up homeless,that sounds like a great plan, one day you will start to age and loose your looks and some pretty girl will catch your husbands eyes, call it karma! Or wise up and don't ruin a family!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 March 2014):
 Not worth it. At least, if you like your apartment and do not want to be put out of it by the scruff of your neck as the landlord would surely find a way to do the moment he becomes uncomfortable / antsy / bored with the situation between you.
Fuck buddies and one night stands are a dime a dozen, good affordable housing is hard to come by...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 March 2014):
 Seriously, he is married but you getting yours makes it OK to pursue a married guy?
Grow some morals, girl.
And if you think HE can throw you out if it goes South, what do you think HIS WIFE will do if she heard about his? Let you live in your apartment? Seriously?
USE some common sense.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 March 2014):
 It will end in tears. He will no doubt use you for a while then discard you and find a way to end the lease. All the drama you are about bring upon yourself is not worth it.
He has probably done this before. And probably had women give him the 'eye'. Stay away and find someone less potentially troublesome. Being homeless at your age is too much challenge that you don't need.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (28 March 2014):
 Not worth it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2014): DO NOT DO THIS!
1.) He is married. It does not matter if you know his wife or not. You know of her existence, and that should be enough. Respect other peoples' relationships. You would not like it if you were with someone, and some other woman "wanted one night" with your partner.
2.) He is your landlord. You will still have to see him around after "that night", and it WILL be awkward. And like you said, if it were to cause the 2 of you to fall out, he can make you homeless. (That should be enough motivation not to do it right there).
3.) Sleeping with him will not necessarily get rid of your crush on him. It might actually make it worse. Do you really want to risk it? Then end up "in a relationship" with a married man? Or get rejected by him after spending the night with him, when you want to take things further and he doesn't? Or get rejected by him later on when he won't leave his wife for you?
I understand how powerful attraction can be, but you're still responsible for how you handle it. YOU KNOW what the right decision is in this situation. I'm a married woman, and I actually had to leave a job once because I found myself getting too attracted to a supervisor of mine. He also liked me, which made it all the more tempting. But I made the right choice. I hope you will too.
And stop flirting with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2014): Umm no, that sounds like an awful idea...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2014): Picture this:
You: 45 year old women.
Your Husband: 45 year old man.
Hussy(not you yet, but easily could be): 25 year old-hottie. She want to bang your husband, just once, or so she thinks for now.
If you would be okay with that, go for it. But if any part of you feels that would hurt you or be not cool, well I think we have an answer.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 March 2014):
 He sounds creepy. One night with him would probably need more counseling than you have just now. So I'd pass on this one.
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A
female
reader, Marilissa75 +, writes (28 March 2014):
 Do not do it. He is married and he's a lot older and your landlord so the repercussions could be severe. He might not do anything but imagine if his wife found out...she knows where you live (it wouldn't be too hard to figure out). You are probably very attractive and need to get out and meet more men. Your crush will only get worse if you sleep with him. It is not worth a one night stand.
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