| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My husband has been shouting at me and sometimes hitting me and calling me lots of names. I have put up with it, now I feel like a very angry person and I shout back at him a lot and I can not speak to him nicely and even when he tries to be nice to me I am always nasty to him.I don't want to be like this but I cant help it.I feel a lot of anger to him and then feel guilty afterwards, as he does try to be nice. What is wrong with me?(Mod note: Question was posted from the UK) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 October 2014):
 There is NEVER any reason to hit a woman unless she has just shot you in the head with a bullet. you need to belive in you and get away from this guy!
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (12 October 2014):
 You write: ".....My husband has been shouting at me and sometimes hitting me..."
ALL the rest of your submittal makes no difference.... you get away from him and STAY away from him..... You can't actually speak to them... but there are OOODLES of women who would LOVE to tell you - from their GRAVES - that there's no future with a man like that.....
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 October 2014):
 What's wrong with you is that you STAY with a man who has already been hitting you "sometimes ". It should have been over the moment he hit you the first time . Not that calling you a lot of names is nice either, but physical abuse is the uktimate dealbreaker and where you draw the line. No matter how nice he " tries " to be
( AFTER that he's beaten you up , I suppose ).
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (12 October 2014):
Oh, my. That's so toxic. I've been in abusive relationships before, once it reaches the stage of physical abuse it is over and too late in my opinion, it rarely gets better. Personally I think you need to get out and heal yourself.
I cant tell you how wonderful it is to eventually be in a happy, healthy drama free relationship with someone who is truly your best friend. You can have that too, eventually, but first you need to get out and get healthy.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (12 October 2014):
NO ONE be it man or woman has the RIGHT to hit each other.This sort of behaviour is out of order and it is very sad that your husband is both hitting you and calling you names.No doubt your hurt and very angry but shouting back to him is not the answer .On a human level i can understand why you do it.Right now would you talk to your husband in a quiet manner and suggest that you both go to see a counsellor to talk things out in a controlled situation and to get some help to understand what is the root problem of your situation .Kind wishes .NORA B.
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