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I have a friend who thinks it's funny to lie all the time, why does she do this?

Tagged as: Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 May 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 29 May 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Ok..so my friend lies to me..alot. She does it alot and whenever anyone confronts her about it, which is not alot, she always just jokes about it..and sometimes she can be mean about it. She always jokes all the time and lies..and sometimes I find it really hard to trust her, even though shes like my best friend. But lately shes been branching out, and so have I, but I dont know..its just really hard to trust her since she lies alot. Yesterday she told me her W.O.W account..haha..and so today I tried it..and its not even the one. So I kind of called her. Then she pretended the phone was cutting out. And I know you're probally going to tell me that she just doesnt want me as a friend anymore..but she does this to pretty much anyone. But as much as sometimes I dont want to be her friend anymore, I do care for her.

So my question is..do you know how come shes acting this way all the time?? Thankssss.

View related questions: best friend, she lies

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A male reader, garcypher United Kingdom +, writes (29 May 2009):

You can come up with all kinds of psychology trying to explain why your friend lies all the time; some people do it because they simply get a kick out of it. To them it's funny. I knew someone who used to tell the most absurd stories in the pub. Everyone would listen intently til the rediculous ending came. Some would laugh and some would get pissed off. He would inssist that it was all true. Some are pathalogical liars who simply can't help themselves.

Try something I would: do the same for a while to her. Make up things and lie to her. When she catches on and complains, let her know that's how it feels to you too. Tell her if she going to keep lying then she also will never know the truth of what you speak. Teach by example.

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A female reader, Maysa United States +, writes (29 May 2009):

She acts like that because she has low self esteem. If you don't feel like you want to be her friend, then don't be.

It sounds to be like you have much better core values than your frind which is great! Who really wants a liar as a friend ? I know I don't. Wishing you the best!

Maysa

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009):

Some people lie because they don't find themselves interesting enough to be who they really are. They make things up so that they appear to have a "spark" or something "special" about them; to seem different from others; to attract attention.

She may just not be happy with herself and so she releases to other people, an image of what she wants to be like.

Maybe one day in her past, she was unpopular or unliked. And then she got caught in a situation and ended up telling a lie and it got her more attention.. it made her a friend or two, and from that day on, she has used lyeing to do what it did that one time.

Maybe she was the middle child, or was one of many of her gender in her family and was therefore not paid as much attention to as she would have liked. Then one day, she told a lie, and suddenly, her parents were concentrating only on her. It was because she was in trouble, but it was still more attention than she usually got. And so from that day on, her brain related lies to much needed attention instead of relating it to trouble and doing the wrong thing.

There are many reasons. It probably dates back somehow though. You should talk to her about her past and find out what the root of it is; she she first started lyeing and what happened because of it.

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