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female
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anonymous
writes: Well i have been with my fiancee for 2 years and we have a 1 yr old child together. When we first got together i realized i knew my fiancess best friend from a couple months before i had actually met my fiance! well we would talk once in a while and exchanged phone numbers but never called and there is alot of sexual tension between the two of us. we have great conversations adn all of that, now me and my fiancee dont talk all that much and well yea everything else is just average. I want to keep my family but i dont want to stay togetehr just for my daughter. What should i do?
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female
reader, bby_gal06 +, writes (25 November 2006):
 hiya
well i think its wrong to stay with your partner just for the child because its you that gets messed up in the end! the child will still get to see dad if he wants and if not then it his loss.
i think you should go if you want to go you cant help who you have feelings for and there is alot of people that stay with their partner for the wrong reasons.
everything will all go worse if you stay with a person that you dont want to be with and your thinking of someone else.
just think if your happy then your daughter will be happy but if your un-happy when your daughter gets older she will realise that mum and dad are not talking etc etc children always do.
so i think that you should go and be happy for your sake and for your daughter's sake. x
A
female
reader, Ceilidh +, writes (25 November 2006):
Dear stay or go,
Your relationship is going to flounder if you and your fiancé don't talk to each other. Relationships live or die based on the quality of communication. If neither of you talk to each other, if you don't make an effort, you will find your relationship eroding to the point where you don't have anything left between you, and then one or both of you will call it quits.
I would highly suggest you try to find some way to rekindle what you once had. What did you used to do that was fun? What kind of conversations did you used to have? You loved one not too long ago to the point where you wanted to marry each other. And you have a child for together. I don't advocate staying in a loveless relationship because of a child. However, you haven't tried to repair the relationship yet. If you've tried to fix things up and it isn't working, that's when you call it a day.
As for this guy you knew before, I think he just appears exciting to you as he contrasts what you currently have at home. You've felt sexual tension there when you first met him and now. It's perfectly normal to feel attracted to other people when we're in relationships; that's being human. What isn't good is when we act on those attractions and destroy the relationships we have.
Why don't you start by putting all the time and energy you put into conversations with this other guy into conversations with your fiancé? Minimize the amount of contact you have with this guy and focus on the guy and the little girl you have at home.
Wishing you all the best,
Ceilidh
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2006): its hard situation because you already have your daughter. its true that it is really hard to be with the person or with your fiancee to stay just because you already have obligation to him as a father of your daughter and to your daughter as a child of your fiancee. but think about it, no body knows tommorow why not follow what your heart's saying, its not bad to give your self what really makes you happy inside you' beside no body can give your real happiness, only you' can find it by your self. someday when the right time come' your daughter will understand you ad everything. just think and always carefull with all your decision.goodluck XXX.... gladyz
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