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anonymous
writes: Hi. I have a few questions. I've been with my guy for almost 5 years. We have been off and on, but he has been the only guy I've been having sex with. In the beginning, the sex was good. It was fun and we'd do a lot of positions. One of the times we "broke up" I slept with someone else, and I think that guy had a bigger penis then my bf does, so I think (if it's possible) that he stretched me out down there. But recently, sex with my bf has been really boring. We go so fast when it comes to getting undressed. Seriously, our sex last for about 5 minutes and we don't have sex that often, so he doesn't last long and sometimes niether do I...when he goes down on me. I have a question about how to make our sex life more exciting and fun. I am a shy girl, and sometimes I get nervous when it comes to sex and stuff. How can I get more confidence in doing crazy sex things? I so badly want to please my bf by giving him blow jobs. I am so nervous to go down on him, but I feel I need to because he does it to me alllll the time. How can I also get more confidence in giving my bf a blow job? It would be great if you helped me out! Thank you for your time!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2005): Try having a few drinks. I said "a few". It will loosen you up, and before you know it, you won't need the drinks anymore.
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reader, REBECCA +, writes (13 April 2005):
HiI must agree with the advice already given. Be honest with your b/f and relax. Spend a whole evening together pampering and touching. Have a bath together. Stroke each other. If you like, have some fun. Get some chocolate body paint put a little bit on your partner's body and lick it off and take it one step at a time. Ask you partner to tell you and to explain what he likes.If you want to practice on a carrot or a banana (tastes a bit better) just so that you don't feel as nervous you can do! Most important of all your partner is with you for you and not what you can do for him!!!!! Take care
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (13 April 2005):
 Firstly, I think it is highly unlikely that the guy that you slept with before 'stretched' you even if he was bigger than your boyfriend. Stretching tends to more so occur with giving birth than with sex. Kegal exercises whereby you tone your pelvic floor muscles can help if you really feel you need to. Just pretend you are going for a wee and 'hold in' your muscles. Do this a few times each day to tone them up. I don't really think this is an issue though.You say sex is fast and infrequent. I realise you are shy but one of the best things to do is to talk to your boyfriend. Explain how you love him and want to please him in bed. Ask him what he would like you to do now as you have been together for five years and sex can get a bit routine and you want him to enjoy what you do. Tell him that you do enjoy all that he does but that you would like to be more confident. For more intimacy to occur you need to be able to discuss how you both feel.Confidence is gained through trust and understanding which is why it is important to build the emotional bond with your boyfriend. Allow him access to your thoughts.On a more practical level, don't go to bed with him thinking; 'I must give him a blow job' Instead think about being close to him. Stroke him all over and kiss him all over too. Gradually, if you wish, edge further down his body, caressing him. Massage his penis with your hand and continue to do this until you feel you can take him in your mouth. Do all this gently and slowly, building up arousal and then lick his penis at the top and all around the area, as well as up and down the shaft. Eventually, gently take him in your mouth and gradually move up and down. Remember you can stop at any point, continue to massage him. Explain to him what you are doing beforehand if you wish to make you feel more relaxed.You need to both feel comfortable with making love. He can increase your confidence by telling you how much he is enjoying what you are doing. If he doesn't tell you, ask him how he feels.A sex goddess isn't necessarily a girl who can do crazy sexy things in bed but one who recognises what her partner wants through communication and knows what she enjoys too.Try talking to him today.Good luck.
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