A
female
age
41-50,
*enusFlowerBasket
writes:I know this isn't exactly to do with relationships, or perhaps it is but it's more about my relationship with life and the world. I could really do with some help.My problem started about 2 years ago, at least to the extent that I am suffering today. I began to experience prenatal depression about 5 months into my pregnancy, the worst of it though was the anxiety.My anxiety continued to get worse and worse, the details are irrelevant, all that needs to be said is that 2 years on and I have a fear so strange that I can't even find anyone else that has it.Most people are afraid of death and non existence, I developed a fear of existence itself, the very fact that I existed and the world around me existed was a thought frightening enough to me that I would get panic attacks and feel dreadful and just so scared. Today the anxiety is much better but I'm still haunted by the idea that I'll never truly NOT exist, I don't believe in reincarnation but even after I die I'll still exist as something in the universe even if it's just mud or whatever. Trust me I know how f**king crazy and irrational this sounds. I just can't seem to find peace in myself. Sometimes I feel better about life but the fear always returns in the end.So, what do you think is wrong with me and what should I do about this insane fear :-)I just want to enjoy and love my life. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Killerthoughts  +, writes (7 September 2017):
I feel the same way it gives me so much anxiety. I'm so glad I'm not the only one :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2012): I'm glad you found it useful, I wasn't sure how helpful it would be as I didn't have time to read the entire thing lol. I just googled your anxiety in general, stumbled across it and thought "I maybe onto something useful here for ya :)
It might be a recognised fear, but maybe more uncommon than some other fears so its not something you hear about or read about that much. I'm sure if you search a bit deeper on google there will be more on this subject, maybe try wikipedia it covers a wide variety of subjects and gives quite in-depth explanations to stuff.
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A
female
reader, VenusFlowerBasket +, writes (29 November 2012):
VenusFlowerBasket is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the link Karlos, it has proven very helpful. I even found a topic where all the anxiety sufferers had a good laugh at one another's fears and phobias, which made it all feel less threatening xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php?topic=23209.0
I've heard of a fear of death but never a fear of being alive, so I can't offer any insight to your problem personally or directly, but I posted a link here as I just found someone else who seems to share the same anxiety as you do, maybe you will find it a help or at least somewhat comforting to know you're not the only one who is experiencing this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012): It called agoraphobia.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (28 November 2012):
 Hi
You will still exist in a way, your child,their child,and so on, all will pass on the family genes just as you have.I was always told 'oh your just like Auntie ***, you have her hair and your mums eyes..'
You,as S.V.C says can be helped, as can your anxiety. Make an appointment with your GP and set the ball rolling,explain things as clearly as you have on here.
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 November 2012):
 I think you need to seek professional intervention on this matter. You have uncontrolled thoughts and fears that can be helped with both medications and cognitive therapy.
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