A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I've met this girl a few months ago and I really like her but I'm incredibly shy. When we are doing some activities together I can get quite loose and have great fun with her in a way friends would.I totally fell in love with her about a month ago and I'm too shy to let her know... She is currently having a 6 month relationship with someone, and I don't want to freak her out or come between both of them in a mean way. Her best friend seems to have a crush on me, and that really doesn't make things easier since I don't really feel anything for her.Whats the best way to let her know, without bringing any harm to our current relationship, that I really love her? I feel that she likes me alot as well but I'm just afraid of her reaction and the reactions of our friends.I badly need some advice, i'm really inexperienced in these sorts of things, thank you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): A lot of girls really like being friends with a guy before they date. Think of this as a perfect opportunity to do that. There is no pressure to be anyone besides yourselves. Just be her friend, and since you are single and a free agent, meet other girls, too, and be friends with them. Just keep seeing who you like and why.
If you imagine yourself as an older man looking back at this time in your life, how do you think you should live it?
Maybe you can make mental lists in your head. I like her because I can talk to her, I like that other girl because she's helpful, etc., and get your mind thinking appreciatively, unattached and openly about a bunch of girls.
Good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): Yes, you are absolutly right... Thanks for your feedback.But I find it so hard to push away my feelings aside when I'm with her, any tips how to hide/get rid of those feeling, and just try to be friends?
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (10 February 2007):
 You shouldn't really say anything to her. She's with someone else. Making a move will not only wreck your friendship but make her feel awkward in arelationship she's currently very happy in. If her friend is in love with you she'll stand by her friend and refuse to go out with you even if she likes you a little herself. Let her friend down gently by telling her she's a fantastic girl but you have feelings for someone else. You don't have to tell her who. Then she'll repeat this to her friend who may or may not suspect who she means. If she does suspect she might talk to you about it, in which case you need to tell her that even though you like her a lot you don't want to come between her and her boyfriend and if she doesn't you need to wait until things change between her and the boyfriend but I think telling her right now would be a really bad idea.
CD
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