A
female
age
36-40,
*hatOneGirl
writes:I am a small-time musician and I have a seriously intense crush on my producer, who is in a (very) long distance relationship. He's 31 and I'm 19. Are there too many reasons not to pursue him, or should I just go for it? He sends obvious vibes that he likes me and we have a great time working together, but I just don't really know what to do....do I go for it, or just let it play out?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007): Don't even go there for so many reasons. Some of these include:-
-You are both in different stages in your lives. You're in the have-fun-with-guys stage whilst he's at the age where men settle down and have kids
-He might only see you as a friend and if you make a move on him it could even muck up your career
-If you do get together as a couple the fact that you are with each other both personally and work wise can even rip the relationship apart, especially when you move in together
-If you end up splitting up it could ruin your career
-Although he's in a long distance relationship he's still in that relationship. What happens if they decide to come down and move in with him? If you had started an affair with him it'll make you gutted
I could go on but i think you get the point. Move on and find a single guy who isn't work related. Hope i've helped.
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (30 September 2007):
As your producer you surely have a business arrangement with him. The only business arrangement I know where both parties indulge in that kind of stuff, especially where money is involved, is known as prostitution.
Whilst you are in a business relationship it would be professional to keep the relationship businesslike.
If he is producing you want him to do the best job he can in promoting you as fairly and as honestly as he can. A relationship would just add confusion to this and would strain the situation with the long distance girlfriend.
As a musician myself I am asking you to keep this one professional - that is if you are really interested in pursuing your chosen profession.
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A
female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Honestly,I think it's unprofessional out of him (and unfair to his gf) to try anything with you cause he's the person your career depends on in a way.Why you like him I think I can understand but his "obvious vibes" made me worried.Sorry cause I'm the 1st one to write it,but is it possible that he's trying to take the advantage?If it is,protect yourself.Of course,could be it's not like that and I got it all wrong but even then I advice you to let it play out cause he's the one in the relationship and (no meter how long distanced it is) he should make the choice between you two and the 1st move with you in that situation.Also don't settle with being 2nd best and don't be with him till he dumpes her 1st.Good luck
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (29 September 2007):
 At the moment i would not persue him, i would keep going the way you are going. Maybe he does fancy you, but if you make a move on him and you read the signs wrong it could make things arkward for you both as he is your producer. Also he is in a long distance relationship with someone, so on this basis untill you hear they have split up i would refrain from persuing him. Maybe he is really unhappy with this very long distance relationship, maybe he is really happy who knows, just keep going the way you are going. Who knows what the future holds.
Good luck x
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