A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I have a crush on this girl who is my friend and it is killing me.I love Sam so much and she found out and hated me 4 it. She was awful tome 4 weeks. I had had a crush on her 4 at least 3 months befor she found out an it was so painful. After a couple of weeks, stuf happened and her twin Charlie, also my friend, and Lucy managed to help us sort it out. Sam thinks now that i do not love her anymore so likes me again. She thinks that people can just decied not to love anymore,she doest realise it dosnt work like that.I love her and cant stop thinking about her, day and night, and get no sleep because of it. Ive tried everything but CANT get over her. I swear it is killing me, it hurts so bad. I have had a crush on her for 14 weeks now. What can i do??? She will NEVER love me. Help???....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2014): Thanks guys!!
Tisha- 1: i cant talk 2 my parents as they do not know i am bi and also DONT KNOW HOW 2 talk to them about this kinda stuff. Thanks for the rest of your advice
PrincessRiches: really helpful advice. Thanks sooo much. She is rather immature:-):-(:-).... distancing isnt a problem, as is six week school hols, but i still cant get her outa my head. Thank you.
Greatefully
Anon
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (6 August 2014):
 This question http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-should-i-handle-the-fact-that-private.html has the back story.
This is one of those painful life lessons: you can't always get what you want. This includes having people reciprocate your feelings.
You're at this age of puberty when hormones and feelings are all over the place and things feel very intense.
It would be a good idea for you to learn some stress relief tactics. Some people exercise, there's yoga and meditation, if you're religious at all there is prayer, some people run or swim, there is mindfulness. Basically there are all kinds of ways to calm down and get control of yourself.
I try to become conscious of my breathing and do some deep breathing exercises to refocus my mind on being in the 'now' and then I say 'This too shall pass.' And it does.
As it's this painful and upsetting, I think it would be a good idea now to talk to your parents. We've all gone through unrequited crushes before, that includes your parents, and they know you best and so could give you ideas for how to cope.
With time, these feelings will subside and I expect someone else will come along who likes you back. Who knows, there may already be that someone but you're too caught up in your anxiety about this that you're entirely missing it.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, PrincessRiches +, writes (6 August 2014):
 You are rather young, and it's not uncommon to develop feelings for friends's at your age.
However, when they don't feel the same, or it makes them uncomfortable, it can hurt like hell. The fact that she thinks you could just turn your feelings off like a tap shows she's immature.
You will need to move on and accept that this one isn't gonna happen. This isn't easy, but crushes always pass over time. The fact that you are losing sleep over her isn't good.
My advice is to get involved in something else for a while, anything you like. I would distance myself from this friend because firstly, she didn't handle you having feelings for her in a nice or mature way, and second, hanging out with her will not make the process of getting over her.
I promise you'll look back and wonder what you ever saw in her.
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