A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello,this is quite embarassing but... I'm 30 and some months ago I started developing a crush on my dentist, which is 20 years older than me! He is handsome and kind, also he looks younger but I have never felt attracted by older men before nor by doctors!I can't tell if he's interested in me, even though my female friends who are also patients say he's not that chatty and caring - just professional and kind. they never talk about hobbies or everyday life like we do. he always asks me about my life and my relationships, he always caresses my cheeks or arms when he finishes his work - he compliments my clothes and perfume, but never in a gross or way.he is not the kind of man who tries it on girls, at least I don't have any evidence that he is.what should I do? I would like to know if he's interested or not, I am definitely not looking for a serious relationship - I just feel attracted to him and would like to know if it's mutual. Am I just fantasizing?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2015): I am a dentist but female. I do chat with my patients and do ask them about their hobbies, music, family, vacations, and pets. I do compliment them-- male or female if I truly like their, jewelry, shoes, new hairstyle, or the color of shirt they are wearing. I like to joke with them too. I do this so they can feel more at ease. I know most of them hate going to the dentist and I try really hard to make their appointments a good experience and always focus on them. As far as touching I only touch them on the shoulder--facing them to ask if they are OK. I do shake hands. If they want to hug me after an appointment, I usually hug with a pat ( friend hug). . I am providing a service. I am friendly but professional -- period. I know it is hard sometimes to develop crushes on health professionals especially doctors etc. No worries, enjoy your fantasy. It is normal. He wouldn't risk his reputation, his practice, nor family if he is smart!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015): You should maintain a professional-relationship with your dentist; and not jeopardize his practice by going against the ethics of his profession.
He's performing a service. If he wants patients to return, he should be proficient at his job, and have a pleasant chair-side manner. There are several dentists in my area who have been on the national news for improper behavior with patients; and they're all being sued by women.
Be polite on visits, don't forget to floss, and go find someone available and who's not your doctor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2015): This is a tricky situation on many levels.You are his patient.You are much younger.He could already be married or involved in a relationship.He is a professional who likely does not want to have his reputation and livelihood damaged by crossing lines.Yes you are fantasizing.I think it is best to keep this relationship professional.It seems to me he is being nice and kind on a professional level. I do not see any evidence he is interested in you romantically and in any other way except as a patient.I had a dentist who also caressed my cheeks when he was finished. He was happily married. He was nice to me and we talked about a lot of stuff. That is not enough evidence to indicate interest. He is just good at what he does and at establishing good relationships.I would let it be.The only way you would ever know is to ask him out directly. Or if he asks you.Are you willing to take such a risk being his patient? It would create a lot of awkwardness from that point on if he turns you down. And I think he would.I am from the school of belief that you need to let the man lead. If he is interested, you will know definitely. The signs would be much stronger. You would not be here asking us about it.So chill out and relax. Enjoy the nice relationship for what it is. Professional. It's okay to have a stupid grin on your face every time you think of him and you can revel in that but realize it likely won't go anywhere. So many of us hate dentists and getting work done on our teeth! Me included. At least you have something to look forward to! ;)And remember sometimes fantasies are better kept that way. Once they hit reality, they can often lose their lustre and appeal.Case in point. My personal trainer was friendly and talked to me about personal stuff and did things that I thought meant he was interested. He wasn't interested. Had a girlfriend. Just like my PT, your dentist is just doing his job well. Don't read into things too much. He is building relationships to keep his clients. The more clients that come back to him the more money he makes.
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