A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for almost three years now, and I think I have been in love with his best friend for almost three years. It's so hard to explain, but I met his best friend a few months after my bf and I started dating and for some reason, I had a crush on him since the day I met him. For the longest time I told myself that it was a lust thing and I only wanted him because I knew I could not have him, but it has been three years and I still have the same feelings for him. There have even been times where I wanted to break up with my bf but I didn't because I knew his friend would probably never talk to me again. I felt like a terrible person about that. There have also been times where I needed someone to talk to about the problems I had been having with my bf and his friend was the only one I could talk to about it. I've never had a connection like this with anyone else and I don't know what to do at all. The first problem I have about the situation is that I have no reassurance that he has feelings for me at all, because I have never tried to even flirt with him (intentionally), I would never want anyone to be suspicious of me liking him that way. The second problem is that he used to date MY best friend, and he ended it with her for an unknown reason. (No one knows why he ended it with her)So if I were to take a chance, break up with my bf and tell him how I feel, there is not only a chance of him rejecting me, but also the chance of losing MY best friend, because she still had feelings for him when he ended it with her. I don't know what to do... and I'm sorry if this was confusing.
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best friend, crush, flirt Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your answers. they actually all helped me think about this in a different way. =]
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): ive been with my boyf almost four years and i know exactly what you mean. i fancy the pants of my bfs friend but you wanna no why? its because there so nice to you and respect you because your going out with their best friend. Honestly i felt so confused until i realised why if you break up with your boyf your boyfs best friend wont be the same, hes so nice to you and you have such a good connection because you both care about your boyfriend. If you dont have feelings for your boyf then finish it but wait a few months before telling your boyfriends best friend because i can guarantee your feelings will change because your boyfriends best friend will change. Plus is it really worth losing your best friend over? Friends 1st, boys 2nd! Hope i helped.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): From where I'm from, its a no-no to date your best buddy's ex-girl friend. Its some unwritten code that we have here. Especially if the girl dumped the guy. For sure, your bf (or future ex) and his best friend will no longer be best friends. Plus you will lose your best girl friend as well. Just be prepared for the consequences. You only live once, what do you say?
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (19 April 2009):
 Just try your best to avoid the situation! It won't work out with his friend so don't go there at all, there would be loads of problems with it! And you would be taking a big risk! X
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