A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend she is great. She makes me happy just to be around her. Sshe knows exactly how to make me smile. We work in the same store and she is a manager now and I'm a regular employee. She used to be a specialist which means when the managers aren't around she is the boss. That's when I met her. We were both seeing other people at the time. The girl broke my heart and left me. I went into a state of who gives a fuck I didn't care about anything or anyone. This girl I worked with let's call her d. just came up to me one day and said let's go to lunch. D never before said more than three words to me so I figured what the hell. I went to lunch with her. She drove me out I bought. She told me her entire life story. She's been in a lot of abusive relationships. The relationship she was in was going nowhere. The guy had no idea what he had and just used. I became her shoulder to cry on. One night she invited me over and introduced me to her daughter. The kid is beautiful and smart as hell. That night we got a little drunk and I kissed her. Wwe began making out. I continued for hours into the night just kissing. I actually felt nervous when I kissed her. I've been in countless relationships and wouldn't exactly consider myself an expert but I have been through all kinds of relationships,. so I know a great deal. I really felt nervous kissing her. Then she stopped and started to cry, calling herself a cheater, breaking down. I picked her up and told her you are not a horrible person. I made a choice to kiss you. You are a great person, woman and mother and this guy is the luckiest man alive to have you. I then carried her to bed, tucked her in and slept on the couch. She invited me into her bed and I went in. we listened to her ipod. I waited till she fell asleep then I tucked her in and slept on the couch. I continued to take her out to lunch. Then one day she told me that she broke up with her boyfriend. From then on every time we hung out we ended up kissing or making out. Then one night we had sex. We both where a little intoxicated. After that night we stopped hanging out for a while. We went to the gym about every other week but we no longer drank together. After a couple more weeks she got the promotion. Then I told her we couldn't really be together like we used to. I didn't want her to lose her job. We continued to text and talk. Then one night I got completely drunk and drunkenly text her. I told her everything. She told me about it the next day. I was ashamed and tried to play it off. Months go by and we continue are "friendship" over the phone. One night she comes by my house. We sit in her car and just talk for hours. I gave her the inside piece to my dead uncle's cross while I kept the outside. She wears every day. One day I tell her that we cannot drink any more because I didn't want to become the reason she lost her one source of income. Sorry about the novel but I feel to get a better answer it's better for you to know me better. Now my question is I'm leaving my job for the military. What do I do? If I ship out I'm gonna lose her but if I stay I can't have her. How can I be with her in the position I'm in. We are really great friends and yet I'm in love. Do I leave her and move on? Do I tell her? Do I quit my job and try to find another in these hard times? please help.
View related questions:
broke up, drunk, kissing, military, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Who +, writes (20 April 2009):
 “What do I do? If I ship out I'm gonna lose her but if I stay I can't have her.”Well if you can’t have her either way, she does not enter into the decision. If you had not met this woman what you want to do? That is what you should do.(How sure are you about the no-dating-the-supervisor thing? Some companies do not have a policy against it.)“Do I quit my job and try to find another in these hard times?”Working in a retail store is not repeat not a good career choice. It is OK for a while for an 18 to 21 year old staring out, but you need to be thinking how to get out of retail sales and into to a field with greater earnings, growth and job security. This generally means a job that requires skills that not everyone has. This way companies will have to offer you more to get you to work for them, and to stay there. Look at what you like to do, what you can do, and at the industries around you that are growing (or at least not laying people off.) If you can quit your current job and get into a better field, where you can learn some in-demand skills, this may be the path for you. If you are talking about quitting one store to work in another one just so you can date a girl who works at the first one, no matter how wonderful she is, you are taking a step backwards not forwarded. If you decide to change jobs, accept an offer for the new job before quitting the old one. This of course opens the way for romance with your current supervisor, but keep in mind some relationships don’t last forever, even those without the supervisor issue.“I waited till she fell asleep then I tucked her in and slept on the couch…. I didn't want to become the reason she lost her one source of income.”You have honor, always a rare trait, but especially now-a-days. It will take you far even if it does not always seem that way in the beginning.“Do I leave her and move on? Do I tell her?”Well if you change jobs you can pursue your current supervisor, so yes you can tell her everything. If you stay at your current job you can date other women, you should tell her your feeling but the supervisor thing is in the way; if that goes away maybe you two will be able to try again and maybe it will be too late (each of you may have someone else.) If you join the military you will not have an opportunity to move on to another woman for a year or two, if not longer. In this case tell her short and sweet and to the point; you are leaving and you can’t expect her to wait for you. If you get out of the service and she is still available that would be great, heaven on earth. But no one should be counting on that. (You can of course send her letters/e-mails from boot camp and after, but I suggest you limit yourself to the length of letters that she sends you; she replies and you can send her another letter of the same length.)Oh, and if you do go into the military, thank you for your (future) service. Get strong(er) and stay safe.
|
