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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I may be a bit long, but I want to describe my situation as well it's possible.I've known my classmate for 3 years now, we're both 19 and i recently found out that I have crush on him! It's not like it would have hitted me like love on first sign usually hit us. It's just.. I don't know, but I guess I've always felt his present in the class, but I had a boyfriend. I always felt he's been watching me during hours, I''ve catched him staring at me for a million times. And I feel he's aware of every action I do (even the stupid one). I always felt way more comfortable when we was not around, because i haven't had to be so aware of what i'm doing or what i'm talking about. We were never really close, we always had so difficult relation to explain. He was often offensive to me, but also once he said that he had liked me in front of everybody, the other time that i'm beautiful. There are some things that i can't figure out why he's doing. First of all, why he's hugging every other girl in class, except me? And why he has been trying to flirt with my friend in class at every occasion and than (when he was drunk) he said: "you know, i'm so not attracted to you!" and than he left her alone and startted flirting with my other friend. And still acting like i'm not there. But when he's hugging girls in class he usually look at me direct in the eyes. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, I'm usually nice to him except when he's talking bullshit. As I said, i catched him looked at me very often and when I look at his direction, he looks away like there was nothing. I think that the reason why i have crush on him is because he's very smart and honest guy and he's very much alike me. I'm quite sure that if we have a chance, we would have a great conversations, but somehow we never have a chance because there are always people around. And if we do, it's still kind of distance between us. The distance is actually the main problem of our weird relatinship. I actually don't know what to do, I think it would be the best if I tell him I like him but don't know how and it's just one month left untill the end of school. Than we might not see each other for a very long time, because he won't be my classmate anymore. I'm so scared that he would reject me. I have issues with my confidence too, because i'm not really skinny (but i know i have beautiful face and hair), i have "woman's shape of a body" Next month we will be having party with the class, so i was thinking that it would be the best (and the last) chance to tell him i like him. There will be a lot of alcohol too. What's your opinion about that? Should I tell him and risk my self-confidence with that? Do you think he'll reject me? What's the best way to tell someone who you see every day that you like him? And do you have any idea why he's behaving like that? How can I cope with distance between us, especially because there is not much time left?I'd be very happy of any answer.
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female
reader, janny  +, writes (3 April 2010):
hi. Your love is a bit complicated. But also easy to resolve. His action is so weird. But i guess sometime he only want to know your feeling. Or want to make u jealous. So You love him u should tell him when u have chance. you shouldn't waste that chance and don't scare of the answer because if u don't do when u have that chance u would be disappoint in one day. So i think u should do it for yourself and face all the answer with confidence.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): It doesn't sound great. That's probably not what you want to hear, but I'm just going on the evidence you've given. Though you're clearly crazy about him, he sounds (to say the least) more than a little unpleasant and self-obsessed.
He's been offensive to you, clearly hugs other girls to annoy you (why else would he look at you while he does it?), been horrible to your friend, and generally acted the way that a substantial number of self-centred, physically attractive people (who think they can have anyone they want) usually act.
If you're thinking that you can't help going for him at this party, you probably will. I wouldn't advise it, but I wouldn't tell you not to. What I'd definitely say is: DON'T EXPECT MUCH, and don't let the outcome influence how you feel about yourself. He may well want you for sex, but it isn't wise to expect anything by way of a relationship. He's already in love with the one person he's crazy about - himself. He doesn't sound capable of loving other people.
If you lack self-confidence, try not to show it. You know you have beautiful eyes and hair, shouldn't that give you confidence enough? The risk is that if this guy does reject you, you might allow that to knock your confidence further. Or if he accepts your advances, he might well turn out to enjoy messing you around and playing games with your mind rather than commiting himself to you. If either of those things happen, just reassure yourself that he's too shallow to worry about, and you're bound to find someone who will appreciate your inner and outer beauty.
I hope it works out. Good luck.
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