A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have a huge crush on a guy i work with. problem is he has a girlfriend. we are pretty flirty with each other when we work together which is 5 days a week. other people we work with have even commented on our chemistry together.he has only been dating his gf for a short amount of time(about 2 months)although they have kind of been together for a little while. she is currently out of the country but is coming back soon. i know he doesn't love her because i asked and he said no. but he does say he is happy with her. hes been hurt in the past and likes the safety of the relationship.recently we went to a party together. that night we slept on the same couch together and we kissed..... quite a lot... and cuddled. we kept stopping before anything serious happened because neither of us wanted him to be a cheater. he has never cheated before and i believe that. he really is a good guy.i like him a lot and am sure that he likes me too but i don't want to mess anything up. should i just let it go? or should i tell him how i feel and wait and see what he decides?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): Don't do this. It sounds like he is liking the attention that you give him, but he is definitely playing some sort of game here. I feel sorry for you and his current girlfriend. Move on and find someone else that can commit himself to you fully, if you don't I think you will constantly be looking for ways to justify this "relationship."
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): Well what he did that night with you on the couch IS cheating so I don't know how you still don't think he is a cheater. That's an interesting perspective nonetheless.
Anyways from what you have said, it doesn't sound to me like he is going to leave his girlfriend for you. It sounds like he is just lonely because she is out of the country. And the reason I say this is because of the fact that he told you that he is happy with her. What that means is that he does like her. And he probably told you that he doesn't love her just because he saw an opportunity with you. That's all.
Obviously I could be wrong, but I don't think I am. I mean has he given you any hope that he might be falling for you?? Does he call you alot?? Do you feel like he is yours?? Because men can fall inlove with you even if they have a girlfriend and even leave their girls to be with you. But there are clear signs of it. So as long as he makes you feel like you are the other girl, then its probably just because you are the other girl and nothing more. If he had fallen inlove with you would know it. So I personally think this is just a hook up for him.
And don't even sweat it cause obviously this guy is a cheater and you can do better than him.
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (16 January 2008):
From the way you write it seems you are trying to convince us that what you are doing is right.He flirts with you and you like it because you hope and expect that it'll develop into something more.Imagine him doing what he does with you with another lady when he's finally yours.Unless you don't mind."i know he doesn't love her because i asked and he said no".What if he's lying just to make you feel good.Why is he still with her if that's the case? All that safety in a relationship excuse is just to motivate you to keep liking him.I've always said,it's normal to like someone especially if you see each other 5 days a week but that's no justification to go on like that.Don't make a judgement based on how you feel but consider the costs of being with him.Are you willing to live with them,if so go ahead but i'd advise you to move on coz you are being taken for a ride which may soon come to an end.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, keely-h  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 you are goning through almost the same as me you clearly like each other i think you should wait untill they break up but if you have waited long enough i think that you may need to talk to him.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (16 January 2008):
 Kissing is cheating. Emotional cheating is cheating. Cuddling is cheating.
If he's saying he doesn't cheat, maybe he just doesn't see it that way. He might just like a bit of variety in his diet. No matter what you call it, it will be the same if his girlfriend knew.
He may ba a real good guy, just not good at having relationships.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 You could open the door for him and if he wants to walk through your door , then he is yours.Whether he has a g/f or not is immaterial. It is his business.
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