A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is a bit long and multi-faceted, I will try to summarise.Been single three years, 39, own place, interesting but not highly paid job but I'm only full-time person so no real work colleagues I see daily.Involved in amateur drama, lots of it, and many friends through that. However, concerned all my friends were in the one basket, so joined other clubs. Badminton and sailing among these, but no one ever socialised - they do the activity then go home (mostly because they are all coupled and have kids).Most of my drama friends also coupled and/or with kids. So while we socialise when we can, not as much as I'd like. I regularly go without seeing anyone every Sunday as they also all have families and I don't.I'd like a relationship - even dating would be nice - but seem to be almost no singles in their 30s round here. Have tried online dating for 18 months but only met two women. None of my friends know any single women either. Except my best friend, who is female, but we're like brother and sister. We spend a fair bit of time together as she is also in my drama circle but has a tennis club and family and it would be unfair to keep expecting her to socialise all the time.What on earth do I do to try and meet more people? I've joined loads of clubs and while I get on with everyone there very well, they just don't socialise outside of it because they all have kids and families. If they ever do socialise it's with others with kids, because it's easier. I never used to mind much, was an only child growing up, but it's starting to get me down now.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 you said: "but seem to be almost no singles in their 30s round here."
step one: EXPAND your age parameters... what about a late 20s something or an early 40s something?
if you are 38-40 you could even go higher.... my husband is 39 and I'll be 53 next month...
FWIW, I met my husband at a board gaming convention and I know lots of folks who meet significant others that way... the women tend to be very brainy and not very glamorous... but they have substance to them. Also there are way more men board gamers than women.... so your female friends may do better... just be aware that many board gamers while very bright have lousy social skills...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): SensitiveBloke - no, haven't posted here before. I've genuinely only messaged about 20 women in all that time because I have genuinely not found that many I found attractive and interesting (and no, I am not only going for those you'd rate 9 or 10). In a relatively small town (100,000) and there just doesn't seem to be a great number of single women in their 30s in this area. Interestingly, a female friend thinks the same on the other side, having done internet dating for 4 years and only had a handful of dates and she is at least an 8! But it's not JUST about dating, it's about meeting other single people generally.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (4 February 2013):
 If you tried internet dating but only met two women in 18 months, you must be doing something wrong!
Haven't you posted here before?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2013): At the age you are, yes most people are involved and most people do have kids. Do you live in a small city? People in small cities tend to have families earlier in life than in big cities. I have single girlfriends, that are in their early 40s, and one is 30, and we live in a big touristy city, and they also have a hard time finding a mate. But they do a lot of internet dating for sure. I really don't know what to advice, but that's true hen my daughter was little that's all we did, we hang out with other parents. Kids taking lots of time, we didn't start going out by ourselves until my daughter was 12, and could stay home by herself.
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