A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, I have kind of a strange question.I dated a guy over a year ago only for about three months, but it was a very, very intense relationship because it was long distance. It was also so intense because this guy had some serious codependency issues and control issues, which ended up being the reason I left him.A few months later, I met my current boyfriend who I love very much and I wouldn't trade for the world. We've been together for nearly a year and have never fought, never yelled at each other- we just get along perfectly.Well, ex boyfriend and I talked a few months ago and I found out he was leaving for the summer to go to a writer's workshop (we're both writers) across the country. I didn't think much of it and said I was happy for him. Here's where the strange thing comes in...The day he left I started having dreams with him in them in a romantic sense. They weren't popping up too often for about a month but then the past two weeks he won't get out of my head. The worst part is when he is in these dreams I wake up and feel myself wanting to see him, and I am so glad I can't because of his trip. The weirdest part is I'll have a dream with him in them and we'll be listening to music, then he'll post a sttus on facebook with lyrics to that song...I feel bad for these dreams because I love my boyfriend and my ex was awful to me but it's getting eerie and the dreams are happening more and more. What do you guys think of this? Is it all just in my head? Thanks in advance, and thank you for reading.
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female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Hi, Dreams are usually a manifestation of stuff that is in our subconcious.Despite you moving on with your life and having another relationship, you've emotionally or mentally never really let go of your ex. Have you ever heard of out of sight out of mind? As cliche as it sounds, it is very true. You've shared that you love your present boyfriend and he means the world to you. If this is genuinely try, I really really.....really suggest that you cut all communication with your ex boyfriend. No phone calls, no texting no nothing. What significance was it that you needed to know he was out on a writers gig? None....it should not be affecting your life at all.....your present boyfriend should be in your dreams. In order for you to stop having these dreams, you need to face up to the things that you are doing to hold on to him or the memories. Stop watching his facebook page, stop communicating with him and when you find a thought of him encroaching on your day, look at a picture of your present boyfriend, think of how wonderful he is and think of how different they are .....I've been where you are and they are exes for a reason.Focus on your present...not on your past.
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