A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a pretty good-looking 20something male, with the exception that I have bad teeth. I don't mean just slightly crooked. They are not rotten, but really bad. They are stained, crooked, ground down, and overall I just feel awful about them. It really affects my relationships and my self-esteem. I don't like to kiss, I don't like to smile, I don't like my picture taken. It really weighs me down.You might ask why I don't go to a dentist. Well, I have been to many dentists. Some of them have been downright cruel to me, implying that it's something I have done and that nothing can be done now. They leave me with no hope at all and act like I am the worst case they have ever seen. Others are more compassionate, but agree that there's not much that can be done outside of dentures or implants which, at my age, would be way premature.I want to emphasize that I have healthy teeth otherwise. There are no cavities or anything like that. They are just crooked and awkwardly shaped. It's part genetics and also part of it is that I needed braces when I was young and my parents never did anything about it and so my teeth wore at unusual angles. I also have some sort of condition supposedly common in Eastern Europe (I am American) where my teeth are really, really soft and discolored/mottled. My dentist said it has to be with my mom's diet when I was in the womb. She said she rarely sees it in the USA, but saw it a lot in Romania and Hungary.This tears at me in ways you can only imagine. I do have a girlfriend, but I can tell it bothers her. She doesn't like to kiss me on the lips and she hates that I won't take photos with her. At first she overlooked it - maybe because it's not as obvious given that I try not to smile and try to hide it - and also because new love blinds all, but over time I can tell that it's more and more of an issue for her. Other than my teeth, I am actually better-than-average looking. However, for many people teeth are a deal-breaker. My girlfriend's mom had bad teeth as a kid (which she had fixed) and as a result she always points out people who have great teeth (it's a trait she admires so much), which is just a punch in my gut. I have spent more than $10K so far in order to have a healthy mouth and the dentists tell me that I will never be able to have a nice smile without drastic measures such as implants, which they advise against when I still have healthy teeth. They have advised orthodontics, but not only will it be expensive but it will be another 5 years with braces (how shameful at my age, not to mention expensive) and the results will not be that drastic. It's not like I will get them off and have a nice smile. When combined with surgery (including breaking my jaw) and other expensive and painful work not paid for by insurance because it is "cosmetic" I might have a nicer smile for a few years until the work needs to be repeated as the solution won't be permanent and I will lose a lot of my own teeth in the process.Even the most compassionate dentists I have been to don't offer me much hope. I am very depressed and my self-esteem is in the dumps because of this. I get so jealous of people who just have a normal smile! I would trade some of my other attributes if it meant being able to smile and not being seen as a grouch afraid to have my picture taken all of the time. It tears me up inside.I guess I don't really have a question, but I am looking for some advice or comfort. I know things can be worse. Some people are mentally handicapped. Some people have no limbs. For me, it's just my teeth. I try to look at things that way, but it's just so hard and I get so depressed. I get angry at my parents, too, for not making things a little better when they could have done so. I feel like an outcast as a result.
View related questions:
braces, depressed, jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 I do not know how feasible is that from USA, due to the extra cost of travel, but in Europe people from "rich " ( sort of ) and industrialized countries, where the dentists fees are simply INSANE and national health services cover only the basics , nothing cosmetic, routinely go to dental clinics in Hungary, Rumenia and Croatia. The dentists are trained abroad in Switzerland, Germany and USA, the techniques avant-garde, and the costs , from 50% to 80 less than in our countries - and yours. If you have extensive surgery to do, you may have to stay a couple of weeks or more - but a perfectly decent 3 stars hotel in , say, Bratislava or Budapest would not cost more than 250/300 USD a week.
If you e-mail them a digital orthopanoramic of your mouth, they'll send you back their suggestions and a free, detailed estimate.
In case you need more info, you can PM me.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 how about veneers? (they are permanently attached to cover your own teeth) you are not being silly to feel bad about this, a smile is an important thing and is a necessity when interacting with other people - if you feel unwilling to smile this may make people think you are unfriendly and miserable
x
...............................
|
