A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a huge crush on an older man in work. I have been trying to keep it strictly as friendship but the other day he bumped into me and insisted he buy me a coffee so I let him do so v cautiously. Anyway the chemistry in our short conversation was amazing to the point where we both had to part ways - it just felt like it was all getting a bit too close and like as we were both trying to repress how we felt about one another - like we should be together but neither person wants to admit it..he has been flirting every now and again via e-mail and I have found myself responding in a similar manner..a week passed, he then told me he was working from home I guess cos of that one moment he wanted to avoid me but yet I am still in the back of his mind cos I still get mails from him. today I told him I would be unavailable to go for a coffee in work for the next week thinking the best thing I could do to keep my self-respect was to back the hell off...anyway he is still v close to me by mails..its weird. He is giving me mixed signals and before he bought me coffee I was buying my own so I wonder why that day he decided I shouldn't pay - since then we have both been avoiding each other but still get on really well. I don't know what to do. I really want him but can't tell him that and just as well he is avoiding me cos when I am with him have little butterflies in my tummy. I think he is feeling some sexual tension too - we are in two different areas of the workplace so don't work in the same area - we were just meeting up for friendly chats - just didn't know feelings could even grow from something so innocent...I don't know if he likes me as much as I do but he has been every now and again reciprocating and is being v nice back...Please advise me on what is the best course of action...my head is in a mush over it - thank you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much - turns out he is not fully over his ex as the split was recent and he had been giving me the mixed signals due to this. So now I avoid him like the plague but there are no hard feelings sort of deal. He def liked me but think he was mixed up at the time when he was flirting with me. Like myself, I don't think he thought feelings could grow so quickly from just a platonic friendship and yes I don't think he wanted to cross the co-worker line although that line at the time looked more attractive - kind of like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden lol ;) I think he wanted me sexually back then but now all of a sudden doesn't but I guess its cos he is just back with the ex and I am sure he will drop me a mail one day when that all goes belly up but this time I don't think I will bother to meet up cos like you say he would have gone on a date with me if he had been serious about wanting it to go places or wanting anymore. I am so happy for the great advice I have received on this website so whoever you are - thank you for the honesty!!!!!!! You really helped me back then!!! :) have a nice day! hope you get this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2013): He probably likes you, and as a man I can tell you that he probably wants you sexually too. But there's two big issues here, first he's your coworker; my motto is never dip your pen in company ink, moving further into intamacy with him could back fire in so many ways and could potentially leave you jobless. The second issue here is what are his true intentions? It seems as though you haven't had any real contact outside of emails/ short coffee dates, I think a man that is genuinely interested in you would have asked you on a date by now. Judging from what you've given he may just be feeling you sexually and nothing more, or doesn't want to cross the coworker line. If you absolutely don't care about the repercussions that could come from dating a coworker then I'd advise you to ask him if he wants to do something on his free time outside of work and go from there. Hope that helps and good luck!
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