A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I know this may sound silly but I'm really upset....I got married a few months ago and recently got back my professional photo album and dvd. I was reluctant to have a photographer as I hate pictures of myself as I know I'm not photogenic- this isn't just me being paranoid or vain - a few people have admitted I look better in person than in pictures- which I agree with.I explained to my photographer that I prefer natural shots and not posed and she said she would do more natural ones.Now i had a look at the pictures and I absolutely hate how I look in them! She did put some natural shots in but I still didn't look right- I'm not blaming her, I just don't photograph well and I admit I actually cried when I saw them. Fortunately I look ok in the DVD.Now I'm reluctant to show anyone my album and people keep asking and I keep lying saying I haven't got it.Then to add salt to the wound I was telling my husband how much I hated the pictures as I looked odd and his response- he agreed! Then he suggested that maybe I should have done my hair differently or done my own make up as I looked better in our honeymoon pictures! So now I'm upset that my own husband didn't find me attractive on the day!What can I do? My parents and his parents have already decided to get the ones of us in church with them blown up and hang in their living room- I look terrible in both and I can't find a decent one for us to have blown up. I'm actually tempted to somehow get a few photoshopped... What can I do? It's not like I can ignore it- these photos will be with me the rest of my life....Oh and the venue where I got married, on their Facebook page actually do a photo gallery of all brides - just brides (no grooms)-who got married at the venue on each month- in March, when I got married there were 11 brides and my picture got the least amount of likes and no comments!
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (17 August 2015):
 Hand the DVD over to your best friends and your closest relatives and have them find the most flattering shots to share with family and friends.
You don't have to live with them, but remember that the people who love you and wish you well would like a memento of your wedding, so allow that to happen.
Just remove yourself from the activity and don't worry about the pictures.
I had a fun wedding and good friends and I actually like most of the photos. However, those pictures are NOT all over my walls or sitting in frames on my desk.
They are just pictures. Let it go. You are who you are, your husband and friends love you just as you are, they know what you look like and there's not really healthy reason to freak out about something you can't control..
If you really can't deal with it, give the pictures that would matter to your friends and family to them, then burn the negatives and don't worry about it any longer.
P.S. Your husband did not say that he didn't find you attractive on the day. Your husband agreed with you that your hair could have been done a bit better.
Perhaps you need a reality check to make sure you aren't suffering from some kind of body dysmorphic disorder?
If you don't like the photos, don't display them. They are just patterns on colored paper and will not in any way define your life or your marriage.
Let it go.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 August 2015):
 First off the amount of likes is irrelevant. Don't sweat it.
Secondly, I BET you... You can find some pictures in all of them that you DO like. Select those and SHARE them with your guests.. OR... DRESS up and have your husband or a good friend take some casual shots. Before you do it, take some time in front of a mirror and FIND the angle that makes YOU look good (you can play around with selfies till you strike a good pose).
I had a bunch of pictures taken at my wedding, most of them were OK but the best ones? were the casual ones. (we ate at a steak house kind of place and they were running late so our table wasn't ready, hubby and I shot some pool while we waited... My favorite wedding picture is me in my gown shooting pool.. NOT exactly "classy" but different and amazingly more ME than the "posed" pictures.
THAT is the one I used for our thank you notes. It make people getting the thank you card smile (giggle perhaps) and nod in agreement that it was a "perfect" shot.
One of my good friends had a photographer and he took horrid shots honestly. And SHE is photogenic. He just didn't know much about light and angles. Her step dad took some too and they were amazing. Why? Because he KNOWS her.
Of you paid a lot for these photos I'd bring it up with the photographer as well. Photogenic or not... there should have been plenty of shot you would have liked too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2015): HiI so know how you feel! I take the most awful pictures you've ever seen! If anyone points a camera at me I try to either get out of it, or say don't show me the picture because it totally ruins my confidence. The lines, the monkey face as I call it...yeuch. In reality though I'm quite nice looking and I bet you're the same. So put this behind you and concentrate on now. Concentrate on looking good in real life and being upset won't help that. Smiles are the most attractive thing a person can do for themselves and you have a man who loves you, remember that. I've seen plenty of others who do not look good in their wedding photos, me included! Most people don't look great at all. My wedding albums are in the loft and have been for years and that's where most people's are in my experience. Please try and forget it, appreciate your life and your husband who loves you xx
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 August 2015):
 Oh honey...don't fret over this! I know it's easier said than done but look at the bigger picture (pun not intended!) instead. You got married in March and you're still fretting about in in August? You poor thing! Just put this behind you, don't bother about Facebook or the number of "likes" you get, just accept that it wasn't your day and you know what, that's fine. Why does there have to be so much hype about the wedding day? Not everyone can look picture perfect and they don't even have to. We have enough to worry about as it is.
Look at it rationally, there's nothing that you can do now, so just pick out the ones that you look the best in and make the best of it. And instead of having your parents put up your wedding pics, ask then to frame your honeymoon pics and put those up if they want. You said you look better in them.
You know what they say, what cannot be cured has to be endured, so grin and bear it. Your husband loves you despite how you were looking and I'm sure you looked much better than you think. I have a feeling you're being too hard on yourself. Not everyone is photogenic OP and no one can be blamed for this. Most of us in fact look better in person than in pictures. Just don't show the album to people if you don't want, trust me, public memory is short and in a while people will forget all about it.
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