A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Break up are so upsetting!My boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 years. We have broke up and got together loads of times. I hate the way he accuses me of being unfaithful. He is really unwell with mental health and im scared he will do harm himself as he has done this in the past.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2014): Thank you indeed = wiseowle :
spot on advice and iv left him. :Love is not meant to be wasted on people who don't return it with goodness and kindness :)
thank you = so_very_confused :
iv left him as it was to much for me to take. = love is not meant to be wasted on people who don't return it with goodness and kindness. :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 September 2014):
 so what is your question?
do you want help in leaving him?
are you asking how to fix his mental health?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2014): What do you care if he harms himself? That's better than him harming you!!!
Let his family worry about him. Go no contact, and block his calls. Delete his messages. If he harms himself it will have no dramatic value; unless someone knows about it. He'll make sure someone does; but it will no longer be you.
You have a mentally-ill paranoid assh*le accusing you of cheating; and all you do is breakup, and get back together with him. He'll just "harm" himself for dramatic-effect. Notify his family that you are leaving him, and you leave his life and safety in their hands. Notify his therapist you are leaving him, and can no longer handle his abuse.
Otherwise; you are going to look in the mirror one day, and realize you are a mature woman who threw her life away trapped in a cycle with a man stealing away her best years. I'm sure you already realize how this is prematurely aging you, and holding you back.
He harmed himself because he is mentally-ill. Not because he loves you; and not because you left him.
Go take a look at your birth certificate; and count how many good years you've got left. While some jerk is wasting your life, talking sh*t, and making you totally miserable.
Go take a look at pictures of you four years ago, and compare how you look now, to how you looked then. Do you look happy? How often do you smile? When's the last time you laughed?
You deserve to be happy and be loved by someone healthy and kind. Do you need a man so bad that you'll settle for anything? A cruel mentally-disturbed person who degrades you; and accuses you of things you haven't done?
Who sentenced you to live this way? You did!!!
So, what's it going to be?
Moving on to live and find peace; or letting him drain you until you're a dried-up old beaten-down hag. Too frail to take care of yourself; and little to offer anyone else.
Seek professional help for yourself; if you have been emotionally and psychologically traumatized by this man. You don't want to succumb to Stockholm Syndrome. The prisoner caring for and protecting your captor. You'll be trapped for life!
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