A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My idiot husband threw me a suprise 50th birthday party "knowing full well" that I dispise parties of anykind. I had to lie to everyone and pretend that I was enjoying it, while secretly dispising the whole thing. It has been months and I still have not forgiven the idiot, nor will I ever do so. How can I get back at this asshole so he never does anything like this again? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 October 2015):
 He did what he did thinking it was a good thing.
when was the last time you two had discussed how much you despise parties? maybe he forgot in his excitement to do something he thought nice for you?
you seem to not want to forgive him... what good is carrying around anger for something that is over and done?
are you looking for an excuse or reason or way to get out of the marriage?
your reaction seems a bit over the top for the situation.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2015): Sometimes people say they hate things like that but secretly want one. Even if he did have the inkling that you wouldn't like it I really think you are over reacting by saying you will never forgive him, that's harsh! Calling him an idiot and a asshole, I feel kinda sorry for him.
At least you have somebody who cares enough to do that as others have said, you sound kind of spoilt :/
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 October 2015):
 Before I tell you what I think, I'll preface this with telling you that I get how you feel! I hate birthday parties as well, either for myself or others. I go of course to other people's because I do love people, and I'm an outgoing person, but a few hours of small talk and smiling until my cheeks hurt makes me want to start throwing glass objects!
So I get it! But...here goes:
For one thing, your husband is neither an idiot or an asshole. He wanted to celebrate YOU. And he wanted to celebrate YOU by bringing together the people who love YOU. You turned 50, which is AMAZING! I don't think you realize what you've been given with your life.
I am younger than you, and had I been born even 50 years before I was, I would be dead right now. Medical technology has extended my life, and for me, turning 50 will be something that I never thought I'd see. So be glad for your life, and be glad for a husband who doesn't despise you like too many husbands grow to despise their wives.
If I were in your shoes, I'd turn this to my advantage. You and I both know that he wanted to celebrate you, so let's see how much celebrating he wants to do! When you turn 51, show him how YOU like to celebrate. Whatever your hobbies are, or taking a second honeymoon (MY personal choice!), or planning a bed-and-breakfast getaway so you don't have to simper with everyone else and can be yourself.
Forgive him. He may be dense, but he's *your* dense. He wasn't thinking about the hot co-worker he sees every day or the girl at the gym who looks really hot on that stair stepper...he was thinking about YOU.
You've *really* got a keeper, warts and all.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (13 October 2015):
 Oh, get over yourself. Someone cared enough, and went to all the trouble, to arrange a party for YOU. How ungrateful of you. And it isn't all about you anyway.
Parties are for all your friends and family to enjoy themselves.
We all enjoy an excuse to let our hair down now and then, and your birthday with a zero was a perfect opportunity.
And as for getting back at him then the perfect way would be for you to arrange a party for his birthday.
Make it a good one. :-D
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (13 October 2015):
 he meant well, and only did it because he cared for you. if he did not even think of you he would not have invested the time, and effort.
parties may not be your thing, but he went through a lot of trouble to get a lot of people together at one place at one time to celebrate a milestone in your life he thought was special and wanted to make it special for you also.
bottom line he was thinking of you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 October 2015):
 Tell him, honey I know you meant well, but IF you throw a "surprise party" for me again, I'll walk out of the party.
I get that you don't like surprise parties (I wouldn't be keen on any myself) but... look at the bright side, he didn't forget your birthday or something similar.
You only turn 50 once :) kiss and make up.
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