A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I hate my generation! No one wants to date anymore! I always thought (with my catholic upbringing) the man I married would be the only man I'd ever be intimate with and we'd live happily ever after blah blah blah! Well four years of college certainly changed that mind set! I've never had a boyfriend, and in all my 23 years I've never even heard a guy say he liked or even had a remote interest in me, not even through the grapevine from a friend. I've only experienced affection from a guy in the form of a one night stand and I know many would beg to differ if that can even be considered an affectionate occurence. I realize sleeping with a guy on the first night might not be the way to land a substantial relationship but I think I've rationalized the idea of since I don't know what it's like to have a guy truly interested in me any opportunity I get to engage with a guy I should take and so far all that has lead to is me pining over guys who have no intention of calling me ever again. How can I make myself seem more interesting to guys because I'm so used to never talking to a guy again I've automatically equated that there must be something they don't like about me and as a result I have little confidence and absolutely no selfesteem. Is it possible that I just don't have the personality to attract someone, and I'll never get the chance to even go on my first date ever?! Or is there hope for me somewhere!?
View related questions:
confidence, never had a boyfriend, one night stand Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2010): Start by getting out there and meeting people. Look at events going on at meetup.com or meetin.org. The more you get out and meet others, the bigger your social circle will become. Some of these friendships may even turn into relationships. Join a sports team at your community center, take a language class or art class at the community college, volunteer, etc.
But first you need to work on yourself- what do you like about YOU, what are your passions and desires... When you get up in the morning, tell yourself 3 positives things that you like about yourself. Once you start feeling more confident in your own skin, this will draw others to you. (Yes, this includes guys as well.)
"I always thought (with my catholic upbringing) the man I married would be the only man I'd ever be intimate with and we'd live happily ever after blah blah blah! Well four years of college certainly changed that mind"
While it is good to have goals and dreams about your wedding and future, some of it may not work out exactly how you planned it. When you have such high standards, you will almost always be disappointed because life is so unpredictable. On the flip side, just because you didn't find Mr.Right in college does NOT mean you are going to be single forever.
Learn to relax and stop putting so much pressure on yourself, sweetie. Things may take some time, but you will get there! All the best!
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (18 August 2010):
What do you like about you? What do you find sexy about yourself? Do you think you have a sexy mind?
What do you feel you have to offer a guy who truely wants you?
What did you do to get the one night stand? Must have done something to get that guy interested in you, enough for one night. So what did you do or say to make it happen?
...............................
A
female
reader, LilPixie  +, writes (18 August 2010):
 I know it can seem pretty hopeless, but somewhere out there, there is someone who wants the same things as you.
It's true that not many people date anymore and a lot of people are probably more interested in sex than a relationship but there are still plenty more people who long for a stable long lasting relationship.
Making friends with a guy can be a good way to get to know each other before dating or to meet other guys.
You could also try online dating. Sure, you'll have to be careful who you talk to and what you tell them, but online relationships can work out. I met my boyfriend online (not even on a dating website) and we've been together for a year and a half now.
Do you know the saying "Love will find you when you least expect it"? For some people this saying really is true, so if you're finding it hard to find someone maybe you should stop looking for a while.
I hope this helps. I'm sure you'll find someone.
...............................
|
