A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: bit of an awkward one this. has anyone got any ideas how to make someone sort out there appearance? for me its my fellas teeth. its embarassing but he has smoked since he was 14,hes now 41. his teeth are going brown and i cant bear the thought of kissing him anymore. apart from that he is attractive but im turning my head away when he kisses me. we,ve been together for 5 years now and i have told him to get his teeth sorted. he had a drug habit a few years ago. its probably all down to not respecting himself. he breath smells like cigs as well whereas it never used to. i hate smoking and cant bear any aspect of it. i hate the smell on his clothes. nothing i say seems to make that much difference.
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female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (15 May 2008):
You've been together 5 years so you knew he smoked when you started. He won't see it as reasonable for you to insist that he stops now - and anyway, no one gives up smoking unless they really want to. To have you pushing him to do it when it's not what he wants is in all probability going to be a disaster.
What you can do is to keep pushing him to get his teeth sorted out. And to freshen his breath. And to change his clothes more regularly.
Just one idea from the experience of a friend of mine: her husband smoked. Every time she went past the ashtray (and ashtrays in pubs etc - but you don't get them these days!!) she picked it up and kissed it with the comment "It's just like kissing you, dear". He got the message. And stopped.
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (15 May 2008):
Difficult one, because i bet he's not interested in giving up smoking. I gave up, i do an ironing job, and my ex bloke, who is still a mate, thinks nothing of lighting up in MY car, which is risking my work as i pick up and deliver work in that car! Some people are very selfish when it comes to addictions though. I bet yor guy has bad teeth because of the drugs too. Apparently some of those can rot your teeth.
Not too sure what you can do about it, ive gotta admit i wouldn't date a guy that smokes now. I dont hate the smell of it, but i'm not sure if i could kiss a smoker again??!!
He could go see a hygenist and get them cleaned? That might make a lot of difference.
C xxxxx
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