A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I have been with my boyfriend for the past 3 years. I have a major problem and I hope I won't be judged or get hurtful comments about what I am going to say. My boyfriend is friends with a girl who lets say...sleeps around..a whole lot.Now I understand people can live their life the way they want to, but I honestly feel threatened by her. She has been involved sexually with almost every guy friend I know. They have all told me about this. The things they say about her blow me away. I was with a guy friend one night and within 10 minutes of him meeting this girl, she was all over him and was telling him how much she wanted to have sex with him.There isn't one day that goes by that I don't hear about this girl from a guy friend. They'll be like oh she sent me more naked pictures, I has sex with her last night, etc. She's already been trying to get with my boyfriend, no doubt about it, I've seen some of the messages she has sent him. I feel threatened by her and insecure that my boyfriend might actually see something in this girl because of all of the sexual attention she tries to give him. Do all of the guys really like this her or is it all just about sex? Why does she have to behave like this with my guy friends?What is the smartest way to go about this problem? I honestly hate that my boyfriend is friends with her. Is there anything I can do?
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female
reader, HeresBoo  +, writes (11 May 2013):
 You can talk to him about your insecurities and be honest with him but further from that he is his own man and can have his own friends. I have a girl I hate my boyfriend being friends with. She's not a slut but she lives with us so it drives me nuts too!
Unfortunately for us we just have to trust our boyfriends enough to deal with the girls as well.its hard and annoying but it's better knowing they know how we feel.
Really hope all goes well xo
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (11 May 2013):
 Your male friends discussing who they have sex with and telling you stuff about another woman that blows you away, yech! Whatever happened to conversations about the latest movie or TV show, or sporting match ..... these men who are so quick to discuss their sexual activities with another female don't, in my book, seem to have much respect for the woman they are using for casual sex, and the fact they are quite happy to discuss it with you indicates a general disregard for other people's feelings and a lack of respect for you as well.
The smartest way around this is to accept your boyfriend has a friend that you don't like very much. If you are able to freely access the messages your boyfriend is receiving it indicates he has no intention of going behind your back, their communication, like their friendship, is out in the open. If you are gaining access to those messages without your boyfriends knowledge, sneaking around reading stuff that is not yours to be reading, then you need to accept a relationship without trust is not worth having and end it, for your own peace of mind.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2013): "What is the smartest way to go about this problem?"
Associate with guys whom you know for sure respect both themselves and women too much to engage in promiscuous behavior.
"I honestly hate that my boyfriend is friends with her. Is there anything I can do?"
Unfortunately no. That your boyfriend chooses to keep company with her reflects poorly on him, not her.
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