A
female
age
30-35,
*unnybabii
writes:well for starters, i absolutely hate my body. i'll be 18 this summer which makes me feel even worse about the way i look. i feel disgusted when i look in the mirror, i mean i'm only about 113 pounds but i definitely dont look it. i keep trying to be happy with my body and who i am but i can't. when i see myself all i see is fat thighs, arms, stomach and and waist with very small boobs. it really depresses me since most people i see with small chests are skinny, so i feel like it just makes me look fatter and and more unattractive. people always say i'm skinny and beautiful or whatever but i just can't get myself to see it.not to mention seeing my ex (who i was actually in love with for a long time)at school with his new "playtoy" makes it all worse and makes me feel as if im repulsive and ugly since she has a much better body and i guess is alot prettier than me. i've always been to shy to do anything with anyone i've gone out with since i'm so insecure and i don't know how to change that so it effects my relationships.i've never been happy with myself and and everytime i gain just a pound i get severly depressed and and focused on losing weight though i do exercise to the point where i'm completely sore the next day.i really don't know what to do anymore..all i want is to stop being so negative and and hard on myself but i can't seem to catch a break. sorry for the almost essay but i don't know how else to explain my problem.Can anybody help please? =/
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a break, boobs, depressed, insecure, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 im anorexic, had 5 kids, im 32 yrs old, im 100 pounds and according to my bf, super hot and tiny as a mouse. i know deep down i am, my stomach is flat and toned, but i still feel fat.im also 5ft 2. its all in the head. people like urself and me included will always find fault with some area of our bodies, but no matter how we strive to look a certasin way, sweety, we all have different bone structures etc. my wrists and arms are as tiny as my 2 yr olds wrists. im very very small boned. but i cry because when i see some celeb with a certsain body type i want to look like her, but my bone structure etc will never allow for it. im short, i will never be tall and lanky like a runway model,i have big feet and i love small feet on women, i hate a lot of my body, but, i have to look in the mirror because my bf reminds me every day, im hot, and having had 5 kids and still be supere tiny in all parts of my body is a rarity. most women blow up like ballons after their first kid. and even if they lose it they are flabby. im super tight, and no spare tire on my waist. be happy with ur body now. when u get older, u will start to realize eventually u wont look so young, if ur freaking out now, what will u do when u start to get crows feet and gravity sets in creating mini jowls on ur face, ur ass starts to sag a lillte more each yr? ur skin loses its elasticity etc and u just dry up like an old sponge? enjoy ur youth, take advantage of ur thin body now while u have it, because sooner more then later u will wake one day and u wont have the body u once had. i struggle every day. i cry tears till im exhausted. but i know my bf, my family, his family etc are right. i look great. its all in self perception. dont let others and societal pressures tear down ur own indidvual beauty. confidence is a big thing. so check up on that too.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (15 March 2009):
 You want to be secure with yourself, but you keep bringing up other issues, such as your ex, how weight affects relationships etc. You're being secure with yourself needs to be for self worth, and not how doing something may affect relationships or friendships.
Building yourself comes from strengthening your character, and your integrity. External looks needs to be last in the line of improvement. I'm a larger person, not huge but I have my handles, and my kids walk by and poke the fat and generally say something funny. But it doesn't matter. I know who I am, where I'm going. I know my character, and I have a strong integrity. I'm happy with who I am, so the exercises I do, and the little bit of tightening I may receive, is for health reasons. If I'm not healthy, I can't accomplish what I set out to do.
I recommend first taking vitamins, I think their may be a chemical imbalance which is causing these thoughts. Our minds can lie to us if we're not in balance with nutrition.
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