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I hate leading this double-life but really dont know what to do!!!

Tagged as: Cheating, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 May 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend of 5years and have a beautiful daughter aged 3.

I'm 22 she is 22. The problem is that our relationship is gone stale.i find it hard to be affectionate to her eg.kissing cuddling up playing with her hair ect. I have recently started seeing a girl at work who only works weekends coz she is in college studying as a teacher. It was not serious and started as fun meeting up at weekends.i wud make excusses to stay over with her.

She is 20.but its beginning to get serious,we both have feelings for each other.im confussed,me and my partner are always argueing n rowing,and would not be together still if not for our daughter. Should i stay with her for the sake of our daughter or move on and try made the other relationship work?? I hate leading a double life and i have to make a decision.please help me....

View related questions: at work, girl at work, move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2006):

Sort it out.....

Leading a double life will wear you out, the guilt will get worse and when your partner finds out the hurt will be devastating. I'ts easy to find fault with your partner when you have a nice new playmate waiting in the wings but if you concentrate on handling your primary relationship you may find it improves and you may see your future more clearly. If it all ends you can still be a good Father.

At the moment you are a man without any integrity and one day you may hate that about yourself and so will everyone else.

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A female reader, chunky_monkey +, writes (25 May 2006):

how can you even think of leaving the daughter's mother when you are only arguing because of your affair. If the bible states one thing i agree on is that we must be loyal to one, which you obivously arent. You are the cause to the problems and you need to rethink what you are doing. Stop the affiar and pay attention to your wife and thus stopping the arguing. Or causing drama in your family, breaking your wife's heart, causing emotional damage to your child and causing you endless amounts of problem. Its all your decision, good luck. I hope your wife and daughter are always happy.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2006):

No, try and make your marriage work and dont be so childish! One of the reason's you're arguing is your affair, as you are hardly paying 100% attention to your wife are you, so thats hardly an excuse! You've only been married a few years. You VOWED for better or for worse...get used to that and make it work with your wife. How can you even ask this question?

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A female reader, Aunt Audrey United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2006):

Aunt Audrey agony auntIf you feel the relationship you have with the mother of your daughter is over and that you're only in it for the child's sake then you should really be asking yourself what effect the arguing and bad feeling between you and your partner will have on your daughter in the long term. I always feel it's better for any child to have two parents that love and support them apart than to have to live under the same roof with two people who are constantly rowing, and making themselves, and therefore the child unhappy.

If you feel you will be happier with someone else stop cheating on your partner and do the decent thing and move on. You can still be a committed father and support your partner without having to lie and betray your family for the sake of having a relationship with this other girl.

Have some respect for the mother of your child and either finish with the girl at work and try to make your relationship with your partner work or tell her it's finished and try your luck with the girl from work. Unfortunatly you cannot have it all your own way you have to decide.

Good luck!

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