A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How can i settle differences in my relationship without making an argument worse? My bf has anger issues and its never easy talking to him about anyhtin. It seems like everything gets him upset. He never thinks he's wrong and doesnt say sorry when he realizes he is. Im tired of being frustrated and annoyed. I feel like we're playing kid games all the time. I hate it; but I love him so much... What to do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moon13 +, writes (20 February 2010):
 I also was married to an abusive, physically, verbally, emotionally you name it it was abuse! These don't change unless they get the help they need. And if they acknowledge it in the fist place. I hate to say it, but these type of people never really fully change completely. And if he dont want the help or admits he needs the help, you are better off without him and all the saddness, and pain he is and will cause you in the long run.. Don't waste your time sweety.. just move on and find someone kinder, and sweeter to you..someone you really deserve.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2010):
 It is possible that your b/f comes from that mentally abusive environment or culture in his family and it is not easy for him to change his ways. He may think it is normal and a way of life.
It would be very difficult to live with him unless he seeks counseling ,or professional help .
You would also need to be very patient , understanding and loving .
What to do since you love him ?
...............................
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (20 February 2010):
 I was in a relationship like this. I am an emotional person as was he so basically anything I said would piss him off and vice versa. Not that you are emotional, but I get that your boyfriend gets pissed all the time. The fact that he sees nothing wrong with it, just like my ex, means nothing will change. Sorry. It got to the point with me that my ex backed me into a corner screaming in my face (never hit me) while I was crying hysterically. He actually says to this day that I was overreacting and can't see how could that have possibly been scary... It's like they can't see what they are doing. It still pisses me off sooo much. But yeah aside from the big scary fights, it was mostly petty childish bullcrap constantly, just always an argument. So unless your boyfriend wants to go to anger management, which I don't see happening since he doesn't think he has a problem, you will need to leave him. Or deal with this forever. Just sit him down. Clamly explain you don't want to fight, you just want to talk. Tell him how you feel, calmly. If he starts to act up, say "this is what I mean..." But still calmly, don't try to fight back. The entire conversation keep your cool. Simply say, "if the mood swings and attitudes continue I can't be in this relationship, it it just too much for me to handle. I would like to work on it or you get some help." I am warning you though, don't expect change. I was told by my ex he would get in anger management about 5 times and we also tried exercises to calm him down and avoid attitudes. Nothing ever changed. Maybe if your boyfriend could see he had a problem it could be different. I just wouldn't count on it. Good luck.
...............................
|
