A
female
age
30-35,
*reats
writes:I feel like I am addicted to my friends. I feel lonely without them but at the same time I feel when I am with them I get annoyed. it's kind of like a drug, you hate the fact that you need it but then u end up taking it anyway because you can't live without it. I mean when they want to hang out or even call.. I reek havoc on my mom so I can go out. I hate it. I want to be able to be stable without friends in my life. I need balance... help soon! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, treats +, writes (12 August 2008):
treats is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI like my friends it's that I feel the need to talk to them all the time. I can't handle being alone by myself. When I do talk to them, I get disappointed in myself for not having enough self-disipline to take care of my priorities then talk to them. I put them first in my life, when time with friends should be spent just about last because there are other things in life that need to be taken care of. I love my friends, they are good people. I think that I don't love myself enough to be able to have some alone time with myself. I have to take that time up with a friend. It's like I can't live without them.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): All adolecsents your age, want to belong to a social peer group. Friends are very, very important to young people your age and it's a big development phase of a teen's life. You are learning social skills, you are learning to break away from family, and become independant by having other people, aside from family that you can trust and love. But there has to be a balance between spending time with family and with your friends. So you are right. If this is causing trouble at home with Mom...can you not try telling your friends 'no' once in awhile. By learning to say no to requests from your friends, this can be one of the biggest favors you can do yourself and those you love. It helps reduce at home stress levels and gives you time for what’s really important....quality time with the people who will be with you for a lifetime. That is important, isn't it.
You might want to say to your friends, that you want to spend a few nights a week with your family. If your friends are quality, good reasonable friends, they will accept this as an answer, so if some friend doesn't like being told no, then are they really truely your friend? A friend will only want what in the best interest for you. So remember, if a friend keeps pressuring you, they’re being rude and very disrespectful.. And that says a lot about their character. So take note.
If you are afraid to say no to your friends for fear, of losing them, then you need to change your friends. and work on your confidence. So pick a few designated times to spend with family and times to be with friends. And if you have to say no to a friend, and you are asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (12 August 2008):
 Well, take this answer with a grain of salt -- it might not be the perfect answer, but it might put you on the right path. So, here's how I read things -- you like to socialize with your friends, but when you finally are, you're annoyed by their actions... from the outside? -- it sounds to me like you're craving social interaction, but need a group of friends that are closer to your interests or abilities to socialize... in other words, you need to get out, but the crowd you're getting out with isn't exactly the folks you need to be with...
Try this: think about what it is that you like to do... do you like horse? ...cooking... do you love baseball and the Red Sox? ..something... ok, now start looking to expand you social crowd to include people who share a similar interest... do you get the idea here? It's not you, it's the people you're hanging with...
Best wishes!!
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