A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive had a thing for this guy for almost two years, off and on. recently, i realized my mistake in suppressing my thoughts of him and have come to the conclusion that i could seriously love him. i cant say im in love yet, but i honestly feel like one day, i could be able to say that about him.but heres the thing: i dont know if im just in love with the idea of love, or if what i feel is really true. he liked me about a year and a half ago, but i never voiced that i liked him too. we hooked up once, drunkenly, and then he went off to college. the next summer we talked a lot one night, i opened up to him a lot. i only saw him once more that summer, at his own party, and we didnt really talk. the last time two times i saw him, he had been drinking, and i hadnt been. i get incredibly nervous around him so i only spoke one word to him. he lives in a different city so he barely comes back home now. i cant get him out of my head. its incredibly annoying. the worst part is that i keep saying i only hang onto him is because there is no other guy in my life. but the catch is that i wont even think about any other guy, because im so preoccupied with him!this cant be healthy right? should i let it go and give up, try and get back out there? or should i hang onto this? the next i will see him will probably be in may.. maybe even june or july. and i will probably only see him two or three times over the summer. i just feel like this is futile and its slowly killing me.
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (18 January 2010):
 I think you're in love with a fantasy. I know you say that you're not in love yet but it seems like you're really wishing for this to grow into love. Having read your question, I assume that you don't know this man that well. You can't love someone without knowing them well. You can only love the idea of them.
I know that it's impossibly hard to just forget someone who you have these 'feelings' for. You need to ask yourself...is a relationship with this guy really possible? You say you get nervous around him...it appears you've put him on a pedestal and you've built him up in your head...the reality might be that he in no way can meet your expectations.
Should you let go? Yes you should, but it's not as easy as that. What I would suggest is that you open yourself up to meeting other guys, even if friends only. Once you get to know a guy for who he really is, you will realize that this guy you're after now is just in your head and really just a fantasy.
You're young...don't waste your life pining away after a guy who for all you know, has forgotten all about you. If he was so taken with you he would have done something about it...trust me.
Don't 'wait' for anyone. I made that mistake once and now wish I could get all that time back. Get out there and enjoy your life, because I can assure you that he's out there enjoying his. Don't waste your youth on a fantasy.
All the best!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010): oh, i re-read this (i posted it) and it sort of sounds like we barely ever hung out. that is sort of true, but i know that he still likes me, even just a little bit. he isnt shy but when it comes to me, he is. and im just shy all the time so its a bad situation.
...............................
A
female
reader, cherrypit +, writes (18 January 2010):
Keep it moving honey if you have had more than one awkward moment after the sex then the best thing to do is chop this up as a loss he's just not that into you and the best way to find out is for him to see you with another guy having fun and happy
...............................
|
