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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for six months now. Up till two months ago we spoke every day. She then asked me back off a bit. It has now got to the stage she rings a about every two weeks after I contact her first. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (2 October 2005):
 You probably should accept that this is her - very poor - way of breaking it off with you. It would have been better and kinder to you just to say "I'm sorry. I don't think we're working", but she hasn't decided to do that.
What you need to face is that she a) asked you to "back off" a bit, then b) stopped contacting you completely, until c) you ring her first, then she responds... later.
It's pretty clear that your girlfriend isn't as keen as she used to be. Nothing in the way that she's treating you right now says to me that she wants you to stick by her side, or that this is just a breathing-space for her. It looks to me like she's trying to break it off, without having to do the dirty work of telling you in so many words.
If you really want to be 100% sure, you can ring her and ask "Are we through?" though that seems like subjecting yourself to pain for no reason. If I were in your shoes, I'd be assuming that things are over. If she gets her act together later on and wants to get back together with you, she'll probably seek you out. But that fact that she's not making any effort at all suggests that she thinks she's broken it off with you.
Sorry, hon.
A
female
reader, missdee +, writes (2 October 2005):
"If you love something set it free if it comes back to you its yours if not it never was".
I think she's trying to break things off with you.
If you want to see how much she cares don't call her at all. Let her call you. Then you will have your answer.
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