A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello I have been with my boyfriend over 2 years and half and we lived together for 2 years but i had to move back to my parents house as my uni is finished and they never knew about him. I love my boyfriend more than anything in this world but the problem is whenever i go and see him i became very sad, emotional and sensitive (crying) when im leaving him is like i wont see him again and he also notice that. how can i control my feelings is really hurting me and making my boyfriend upset whenever he see me crying. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): Ok firstly it is not childish to be crying over missing him. I lived with my partner for 4 years and then to afford to buy a house rather than rent we had to move back with our parents and not be together again. After having 4 years of our own little life then that change to not seeing him everyday because our parents homes were far apart and of work it was horrendous and I know how you feel!
I am not ashamed to admit I cried, just because we are adults doesnt mean we have to shut our emotions and he cried too because i was upset and when you love someone and want to be in their arms when you are not it hurts.
Firstly though you do not need to hide a boyfriend from your parents, especially if you love him and can see a future with him. But because you have hid it from them they are going to feel a little stunned you have been with him for so long and probably won't be all accommodating to have him over. But what you can do now is tell them and be honest because they will then understand more if you are feeling down.
Also there is nothing stopping you from moving in together. If you are desperate enough then you find a way. It took my partner and I less than a year to get enough money for a house by working 2 jobs each and saving every penny, our parents though knew of our relationship so we would as often as possible stay together but we put work first in order to get our own little life back again. So if you and your boyfriend want to live together but don't have the money then you have to sacrifice things in the short term to achieve them in the long term. Get a job and if it doesn't pay great then find an extra one too, agencies always have work for people who want it. Work out a plan with your boyfriend to save up to be together and having that to focus on will make you happier. You can remind yourself that how you are now isn't forever and that soon you will be together. This time is a good test a relationship, I know I've been through it, but you have to look to the future and that will help xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): Its understandable feeling upset. Youve been with your boyfriend for a long time, and having lived with him for 2 years is a long time too.
You really need to start thinking for yourself. Tell your parents that you have a boyfriend and you are both looking to move in together. Talk to the boyfriend about it, even if it cant happen straight away, at least you can look forward to it happening in the near future.
You are an adult now. I know after uni is a tough time, trying to find entry into your career so start focusing on your job and start saving for your own little flat or unit so in time you can work towards living with your boy again.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2011):
 You are an adult now not a child or a stroppy teenager. Stand on your own to feet, get a job and save enough money so that you can move back with him. Why the secrecy? Tell your parents about your boyfriend, at least then they can accept that you are now a young lady and you have your own life, you are no longer a child.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2011): tell your parents about him? You're an adult, you have your own life.
Why not suggest moving in together outside of uni?
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