A
male
age
41-50,
*ikey_m
writes:How do you get over a bad breakup? Tonight I had to kick my boyfriend out after I found out he is still seeing the guy he'd been cheating on with me, see http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-enough-to-love-someone-even-though.htmlBut I'm in shock now. He made me feel so uncool, needy and boring with his reasons why he had an affair, now I've got such low self esteem. Also how will I cope with thinking about him with the other guy? And when I see them out together?I'll need to see him for him to pick up his stuff and arrange the sale of the house. How do I restrain myself from hitting him?I'll try to get some councilling, but what do you people suggest? I got such good advice the last question I posted. Thanks.
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affair, self esteem Reply to this Question
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male
reader, xxSABBYxx  +, writes (23 April 2008):
Sorry to hear whats happened!!
i would watch loads of sex and the city....think of all the bad things he done, not the good, and hit the town with some best friends....inside you will still ache, but remember he was the one that lost what was best for him, take my advice, he lost you, so you have to show him what hes lost, and certainly make it clear your better off alone, listen to alice deejay " better off alone" and keep saying yes to yourself..you sound like a real genuine guy, you can beat it...
with regards to the house, any time he is there make sure your not, but someone is on your behalf, means he cant ask questions to you and means you wont have to see him....
my opinion, but let me know how you get on
keep safe
good luck
Sabby
xxx
A
female
reader, lauralovescake54 +, writes (31 March 2008):
I think if he cheated on you then he doesn't deserve you to be wasting your time on him. Try move on and think about all the bad he done to you. Instead of what you'll miss about him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): You are the better man. You have not cheated and he has - he has shamed himself and treated another human being cruelly. By being strong and maintaining your dignity you will shine and he will be left looking and feeling like he should - humiliated. The only way you will move on is with time to grieve (a normal process when any relationship ends) and you meet a new guy who will blow this other one out the water. I think you have given a lot of emotional energy to this man (positive and negative) and its time for you to re-focus on yourself. Get your life back on track and find something to pamper and distract yourself with - maybe a short holiday? this is only a short term fix but it may help you get over this initial pain. Lots of luck to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2008): Hi, well i can understand just how you feel, but please do not hit him or you will be on an assault charge and that will bring pain enough. Just be brave and strong and arrange for him to meet up and get the house sale under way. Just talk normal to him about the sale and everyday stuff and get your things sorted out. But dont grovel to him, or ask him why he did it. Just move on with your head held high and with loads of dignity. You will feel a better person for doing this. Take each day as it comes and never plan ahead when you are feeling this way. Counselling can work for some people but not for everyone. I tried it, and it didnt do a thing. I had to get myself over everything. You are the only person who can cure you. Get some music on your walkman and walk. But blast all negative thoughts out of your head and never hit anyone.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, lboy +, writes (31 March 2008):
 dear reader,i don't really know what to say apart from this guy aint worth it, if he made you feel like nothing then he really is not worth your time in a relationship that goes on for 4 years you should feel loved and like your bein raised above everyone else but you make it sound liek he had you sat in the gutter. i say just let him go let him know u know ur better than him that u dont need to cheat to feel like you have compassion in your life, let him see that you are strong and confident, he dint own you, and he dint control you, you are your own person no-one can make you feel any different if your self esteem is low its because you dont want it to be high, just walk out that door hold your head up high and let yourself feel the sun on your face and tell yourself its a new day with new beginings and leave everything in the past. go out find a great guy and live life to the full with the man that is right for you. anyway thats all i can say so i hope this helped i really do.good lucklboyxxx
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A
male
reader, mikey_m +, writes (31 March 2008):
mikey_m is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify, he was my boyfriend for four years, then met this other guy, then said he'd leave him and come back to me, but didn't leave the other guy.
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A
male
reader, mikey_m +, writes (31 March 2008):
mikey_m is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to clarify, he was my boyfriend for four years, then met this other guy, then said he'd leave him and come back to me, but didn't leave the other guy.
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