A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Split up with my ex girlfrnd of 5 years last year. I always fancied her, and because i was young i put her on a pedastal and chased her for ages, she finaly gave me a shot and we were happy at first. I got a house and we lived 2gether for a year. After a while i dumped her bcause the whole time we were together she bled me dry, emotionally and financialy, talked 2 me like a child, and even cheated on me with my friend. There were good times, but a lot more bad! She was upset wen i chucked her out of the house, but enough was enough! I finaly realised she was taking me for a ride and by this point she had realised what a good guy she had, but it was too late! 4 months after splitting i met an amazing woman, we fell for each other pretty much strait away, and it was clear we were a very good match. She tret me well, paid for half of everything, made me laugh, made me feel good about myself and the sex was amazing. My ex had a major problem with this, she was spreading rumours and bad mouthing me to my friends so one nite i rang her and told her i'd booked a hotel, if she wanted to mess with me i'd show her. So we went to the hotel and i had sex with her, and then left, she looked annoyed, but i just wanted to show her who was boss. About 8 months down the line it didnt work, i was still recieving nasty texts and phonecalls and she had turned my friends against me. By this point me and my new partner had been living 2gether for 6 months and we were very happy, i didnt tell her about my ex harrassing me as i didnt want to involve her. One weekend last month my partner went away for the weekend, i saw my ex at my friends house and she was bad mouthing me and shouting saying she couldnt believe that i'd moved in with her, and i was making a mistake. caught up with her after she left and asked if i cud have a lift home, when we got to my house i asked her in for a coffee and i had sex with her to mess with her head again. She told my partner a wk later and i'm scared i will loose my soulmate. Help, i did the wrong thing
View related questions:
cheated on me, moved in, my ex, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, FrIZzyPiXiExXx  +, writes (16 February 2009):
Your right,
you did do the wrong thing and im sorry to say there is no time machine that can stop you from making that mistake , TWICE. But there is no use crying over spilt milk which mean no use crying and hoping you didn't do the things you've done so my advice is
no.1= if you really care about your current partener, biulding a relationship on lies wont help and if she evr found out for herself = by by birdy,So you should come clean with her and explain why you did so, and she might find it in her heart to forgive you.
no.2: what you are doing to your ex. is wrong and as you can see is not working in whatever way you hoped.
let her bitch to her friends, you should of just ignored her, unless you still have some feelings for her
who cares if peolpe tlk, especially if some of the stuff is true, i advice you to ether sit down and JUST talk to her,, you should appolgize to her aswell, you be the better person
GUDD LUUUCCCKKK
A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (11 February 2009):
at the end of the day your actions have made you look and become a right ass. all i can say is good luck getting out of this one
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Not sure if this is your ex-girlfriend or not, but you might want to read this post from a woman who seems to be in you ex's position.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-tell-his-new-girl-that-i.html
...............................
A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (8 February 2009):
 Please explain how anyone thinks that having sex with their ex plays any sort of mind game on them? The only game I can see is that it'll make them think they still have a chance with you or just gives them ammo to break up the current relationship you are in. And please explain, how having sex with her shows her that you are the boss.. please explain that one because that line of reasoning is bordering on rapist's mentality to sex.
Honestly, if you wanted your current relationship to work, you wouldn't have slept with your ex twice.. And using the excuse that it was only a mindgame is an excuse I don't buy.. It's a weak excuse to make you feel better for cheating.
My only advice is impossible to do.. Go back and time and don't have sex with your ex whose I'm guessing that some rumours she was spreading about you were probably somewhat true.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): If this is a real posting. You are not much better than your ex, I say you two deserve each other! I think you love it, the fact you two have an on and off thing, I bet it gives you a rush. I feel sorry for your g/f, tables are going to turn when she dumps you and you realize that you had something good.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): I'm confused as to how you think having sex with the ex for spreading rumors about you was getting back at her and showing her who was boss. Sounds more like an excuse to have sex w/your ex. You couldn't really have been ready to move in with someone else so soon after a 5 year relationship. The fair thing to do would have been to move slowly and really think about what you were doing.If I found out that you had sex with your ex twice whilst I was living w/you, loving you and being good to you, I would "chuck" you out and that would be that.I hope you learn something about love from this. When you love someone you respect them enough to consider how you would feel if you were in their shoes.
...............................
A
female
reader, EzraMayweather +, writes (8 February 2009):
 If you lose her, you deserve it....no matter which way you look at it you cheated. You doodled in the wordliness of promescuity, and you screwed up. If she was your soul mate you wouldn't have cheated. Your soul mate is the one you will be with regardless, so if she takes you back despite your selfishness (you didn't think about hurting her, you thought about boosting your own ego) she is probably better off with you. Another woman shouldn't have to deal with men like you. It only confirms what most women think!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Yea, you deffinitely should have thought that one over. That was a stupid move. Not to be harsh.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Is this a real posting?? I just can't believe it.. Did you not think that by boinking the ex gf behind your gf's back, would come out sooner or later? I have no real advice for you. You got exactly what you deserved. When you play with people's lives and you make the clearcut choice to cheat on a woman you claim to love...this is what happens.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (8 February 2009):
yes you did do the wrong thing! why on earth did you cheat on your wonderful partner just to screw around your ex's head. if anything the ball is in your ex's court, as she was able to use this against you. you should have thought about that!
all you can do is hope that your partner will forgive you, but i don't blame her if she doesn't. after all the past is the past and that's where the ex should be left, even if she does stupid things. you shouldn't of lowered yourself to her standards. shame on you!
...............................
A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (8 February 2009):
 you're right..
you did do the wrong thing..you dont just have sex with some boy..twice...just to mess with thier heads...
what to that girl that you're with now..what would she say if she new you had sex with your ex twice???
that was the wrong way to handle it..
you should of just ignored her, unless you still have some feelings trhere for her
who cares if peolpe tlk!!-who gives !!
just ignore your ex and her friends and move on happily with some one who really appriciates you!!
gudd luck--peace
...............................
|
