A
female
age
36-40,
*iselady
writes:Hi, Please can I have some opinions about my situation... especially male opinions, but all are welcome!My ex and i broke up about two years ago now (I can't believe it's that long!), after being together for three. It was amicable and after a bit, we became friends and I would now say we're really good friends. He has really been there for me and we have a lot of fun together.But this weekend, we went out together to see a show and then I went back to his place to stay over, to save me driving home really late... and one thing kind of led to another, he started holding and touching me... which felt weird after so long, but also really nice, and to cut a long story short we had sex once then, and once again the next day... both times it was amazing!Afterwards I did feel *just a little* weird... the act of having sex and yet not being together anymore, and that as far as I know he doesn't love me in that way (although from his actions, I know he must really care about me) made me a feel a bit sad.Anyway, now he's gone, I expect I'll hear from him soon and I'm not sure how to act around him. A part of me does still love him and if I did want him back, I'm worried sleeping with him might have been a big mistake. Maybe seeing him will be difficult for me now. Maybe he will think of me as just a f* and * buddy?So, to cut a LONG story short, did I make a mistake falling into bed with him? Can I assume that being a man, sex is just physical to him and that this doesn't have to 'mean anything'? Will he lose respect for me?If you're a guy reading this, what's your interpretation of the situation, and what might be going through my ex's head... and heart?I would really appreciate some wisdom.Thank you :)
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female
reader, wiselady +, writes (23 August 2010):
wiselady is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks... so is there any way that I can reassert myself? I really don't want to be put into that box that says I'm a booty call, or even worse - a typical insecure girl he needs to run away from.
Today I feel even worse about what happened and I feel resentful that he took advantage of me when we were supposedly friends, especially as i know that i won't hear from him now for weeks - i.e. until it suits him.
I'm thinking that the best thing to do now is leave him to it. I've made it clear that I don't want a repeat session as I don't think it's healthy for me, and now I've just got to get on with my own life and forget about him for once :(. There's this other guy who really likes me, in fact two (ha!) so maybe I should go out on a few dates. I just don't feel like it much at the moment; oh well.
Will he respect me a little more if I don't call him, don't get in contact, and don't let anything like that happen again? In other words, show some boundaries and self-respect? What do you think?
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