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female
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anonymous
writes: Heywell ive been going out with my boyfriend for nearly two years and the other day me and him had sex for the first time. Since then he has been ignoring me and wont talk to me. Plz help i dont no what ive dont wrong x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 You don't say how old you are, or what age you started dating, but I'm guessing you're still quite young... maybe 14? Fifteen?
If your BF is also that age, then I suggest that he's embarrassed about what happened. He may feel that actually *having* sex was different to his expectation of what sex would be like, he may feel embarrassed about the circumstances, he might be worried that he didn't "last long enough"... there are a thousand scenarios.
In my view, he's probably not "ignoring" you as much as he's trying to make sense of his own reaction to the experience. Think about it: the sex act is the most intimate experience possible. Maybe he doesn't feel like he's ready for that level of intensity. Maybe he's feeling guilty about losing his virginity. You won't know until you two talk a bit.
What surprises me is that you've been with him for two years, and felt intimate enough to have sex(!), but you don't feel close enough to him to ask him about this.
Have you talked to him since? If not, why not?
Forget his "ignoring" you. Go up to him and tell him that you know things aren't right between you since you had sex. Tell him you've noticed a difference in the way he's been acting. Ask him why it's changed.
If you can't get an answer from him, and if he won't indulge in a little soul-searching to understand his own actions, then you need to consider that you had sex with someone that you didn't know as well as you thought you did, and make your choices accordingly.
-Bev
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