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female
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anonymous
writes: Do I have to contact my ex-boyfriend?I broke up with my boyfriend almost 3 weeks ago...It wasnt because I didnt love him any more, I just knew he was never going to love me as much as I loved him...I felt needy and sad all the time because he didnt have time for me...I know what I did was for the best, but I havent heard from him since. Everyone keeps saying that hes over me and I should let it go. Should I be the one to email or call him to see if hes ok? or should I just wait and let him contact me if he wants to? Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): I agree with Bev: just let it go. If you ended it because he didn't have time for you, he's unlikely to be hurting and sad because you finished things.
If you do contact him, he may well think you're trying to get back together, so it would better to leave it alone.
After all, you were not happy; you broke up with him. Now you need to stand by your decision. Once a relationship ends, it ends. Neither one of you should be contacting one another when something is over and done with.
I will allow ONE exception: IF in six months time you feel you would like to call or send an email to simply say "hello, how are you?" WITH NO THOUGHT OR INTENTION of reviving the romance, you could do that. ONCE.
BUT if you know you'd be contacting him with a secret hope of getting back together - DON'T!!
Focus on getting on with and enjoying your life now, even though for a time you'll be sad that it didn't work out!
A
female
reader, Angel-eyes +, writes (15 November 2006):
when u first took this decision,i bet u thought of it alot and stopped it...it is nice to ask and caring from ur side. I have been in this situation and i asked about him after a month...we talked and chatted for a while and i am now friends with him..
so,my point is that if u asked no one kill you(metaphorically)and if u did not, again no one will judge u..so y not to??
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 November 2006):
 Let it go. Your need to contact him "to see if he's OK" is just an unconscious desire to be in his life again. If you fall into that trap, you'll find you just drag out the pain for yourself, and prevent him from moving on too.
Believe me, he's all right. If the reason you broke up with him is that he didn't feel as strongly as you did, then in all likelihood, he's not even as torn up about the breakup as you are.
Trust your instincts and move on with your life.
-Bev
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