A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:HiI met up with a guy from an online dating site on Sunday. I'm 32, and haven't been in a relationship or had sex for a year (yes - a year!!). The dating site is a good one - doesn't seem to have many of the usual players on it.Anyway - for the first time in my life, I went back to the guy's flat and ended up having sex. (We were both sober). I've never had a one night stand or first date sex (although I had 'shag buddies' in my 20s). My 'theory' on first date sex has always been - 'go for it if you like, but don't expect that anything more will necessarily come of it'. i.e. It's a risk - best taken if you're not fussed if you never hear from the guy again.So - when I left that night, nothing was mentioned about meeting again. We had had a chat about first date sex - I told him my thoughts on it. He queried whether I thought he was only good for sex. He has had two quite casual relationships with girls through the dating site - where they didn't match for a relationship, but saw each other casually for a couple of months. I said I had done that in the past too.Anyway - I texted him twice the next day (yesterday) - he replied twice. But he hasn't replied to my last text.I guess I want to know if that was a one off, or what it was! So I can either wait and see if he ever gets in touch - which will answer the question (!). Or I can email/call him and ask - but I don't want to sound 'heavy'. I'm not sure what I actually want from him - but I'm a little uncomfortable with no contact at all after the act - I'd rather know where I stand.What advice can you give me??!! Thanks so much for reading!!
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female
reader, ask aunty heather +, writes (1 January 2006):
phone him d see if he wants to meet up again. if he doesnt answer hes either run out of credit on his mobile or he isnt answering. try leaving a voicemail either which way expect nothing then you have everything to gain. it wont be the end of the world if you dont see him again. if you keep leaving him messages he will think you are obsessing over him and most guys cant handle that
A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (28 December 2005):
 There is nothing wrong with sending him a message, if he replies gr8 if not then there is no harm done. Not unless you have deep feeling for him, which i don't think you do concidering you only met him once.
Dating sites are like shopping malls, you get to pickk and chose what you want, what shape or size you want it and what you want it to look like, so if the last one didn't work , then girl go shopping!
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A
female
reader, Virginiaac +, writes (21 December 2005):
I would say, text him, let him know you would like to see him again. If there is no reply, forget it and think to yourself you both had a good time. No-one used anyone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2005): I would hold off saying anything to him though, until I had more indication of his interest and commitment rather than just this one date. People sometimes say and do things that may have been true in that moment, but are no longer true. If he responds in the next week, I'd say...go from there. If he doesn't.. then I'd say...you were used because there was no commitment, no connections –just sex. Take care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2005): i know how you feel,the same thing has just happened to me..my legs went to jelly when i saw this man i have been talking to on the net for the first time,we had sex and he left also without making any arrangements to meet up again..i texted him and asked if i would be seeing him again and his reply was 'never know?'..i texted back to say that what he said was a good one he said he thought so too..did it hurt?of course it did,buti say to you honey flick through a few more pages on those sites and on with the show...be as choosey as you want babe and good luck xJx
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