A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. It was all going great, until 4 days ago.It was the first time i'd slept at his house, but not the first time we'd slept in the same bed.We were messing around, and he asked if I wanted to do it. At first I said no, and kept saying no for about 5 minutes. He kept asking why, all I could think of was "because I don't".Eventually I caved, and we had protected sex for about 5 minutes, thus losing both our virginities.Now, I feel a sudden change towards him. I've realised that I don't love him as much as I thought I did, and that I wasn't ready to have sex with him.I can't change that now, but I feel like i'm bonded with him for life because we lost our virginities together. I don't want to be with him anymore, but I feel there's nothing I can do as he thinks our relationship is great.I feel so trapped.Can anybody suggest any advice?x
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): You stop that, you stop that right now. There's nothing to feel ashamed about. You made a mistake, you weren't thinking straight and things happened.
Now you've had the experience, you know why adults say to wait untill your ready. We wanted to stop you from feeling this type of regret and embarrassment. Like Lotusmama say's, it would be usefull if you could stay on the board and give other young girls advice.
You made a mistake, the best thing is to pick yourself up and start all over again. The relationship is ruined, you don't want him, he dosen't want you. That's good. See your not bonded, you don't have to have anything more but politeness with this guy.
Again Lotusmama is right when she says it's best to wait a long while before dating again. It will make you feel stronger, the next time you will be sure it's the right guy, cause you waited, got to know him and felt like he's the right one. This will give you back your feelings of self respect.
Don't worry, if this type of thing didn't happen, nobody would have the knowledge to warn others. I want you to go out and spend time with your girlfriends (you don't have to tell anybody your secrets) have fun, and start enjoying your teenage years. Take care of you, everything will be alright....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm 15 and a half, and we used a condom and the morning after pill.
Our parents both allow us to sleep at each others houses, and mutual friends sleepovers.
Thanks for all the advice, I know i'm young and you probably think i'm stupid for allowing myself in a situation like this, and I am really ashamed of myself.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (21 May 2008):
 I don't think anybody is truly ready the first time.
Nonetheless I can't help but feel you were too young at 14. I had a chance to and didn't by the way.
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A
female
reader, lotus mama808  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 Sure! I have advice:) Would you please stay on this site and give advice to girls who think they are ready at 13, 14 years of age? I wasnt ready either, but there is no changing what happend, you know, so to protect my good, pure name, I didnt sleep with another guy for a long time after that, and I made sure he was special, he honestly cared for me, etc. We arnt together now, but we are best friends. I havnt spoken to the boy I lost my virginity to since it happend, pretty much. You probably won't hardly remember him when you get to be my age. It's not funny, but you'll laugh later.
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (20 May 2008):
 You are not bonded to him for life you dont owe him anything, he owes you a lot more respect as he must have realised you werent ready. God if I stayed with my first I would now be married to an out of work bum, living in a one bedroomed flat, have ten kids and be with a guy who cheats on every woman he meets. You should not have been in this situation at such a young age anyway, why were you sharing a bed with a boy at your age. Is he older than you with his own place or do your parents/his parents let you stay over at each others houses. You werent ready and should have been protected from being in this situation so please dont feel that now you have done it then it is expected from you. If you want to move on from him do it but make the next guy wait until you are ready, please xxxx
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